A family is composed of parent/parents and a child/children. Each one has a specific role in the family. That role can only be done by a specific family member. If you came from a complete family then that's a good thing because this might not have been the case for most families. Parents get divorced or separated, leaving the children to either one of the parents custody or leaving them in the care of their grandparents.
In my own point of view, a child who grew up in a complete family is most likely to desire to have that same kind of family. On the other hand, a child who grew up in a broken family has the tendency to have trauma about what they've been through. They might end up not wanting to have a family of their own for the fear of ending up the same way as their parents did or they might not take relationships seriously and see it as something insignificant. If ever they've had a family of their own, they might have constant anxiety and fear of what might happen to them and their whole family.
I'm not trying to generalize but this is based on the people I've known who came from a broken family. They say that they've moved on but seeing their parents struggled while raising them up and hearing their constant secret cries at night has been traumatizing for them.
Personal Experience:
I came from a complete family even though my mom has to work in Manila while we stayed in the province during my younger years. She saved up money so we can all live in Manila.
Three of my siblings were already married. The 1st born (oldest brother), the third child (oldest sister) and my fourth sibling (third brother). My oldest brother decided to leave his own family because his wife has caused him too much pain. He was maltreated because his wife doesn't want to leave her family. She chose her family because she felt as though she has to be by their side forever.
They had two kids and I always melt whenever I look at them. There was this one time when their mother decided to leave her family in the province and go here in Manila but she's too late. My oldest brother has made up his mind to support just the kids an don't live his family.
Our family took care of the kids but she doesn't see it as an act of love. She thought that we do it in order to fill in my brother's presence in the kids life. She doesn't even know how to say thank you and she's too proud of herself when she had a job. She loved my brother when he has lots of money. Her family gladly accepted my brother when he has a job which pays him a huge sum of money. When my brother was transferred to another job they started maltreating him. They never loved my brother. They just loved the money that he has.
Then my brother's wife decided to get her kids and bring them back to province. I had to talk to my niece because she can already choose whom she'll want to stay with.
"If ever you'll have to choose between your mother and father, whom will you choose?"
"Why do I even have to choose? Can't I just live in one house with the both of them?"
I was so heart broken because she even drew their complete family inside their home. She was always hopeful of having her family complete once again.
Now, we are unable to talk to them anymore.
Other people's experiences:
POV 1: If only my parents has decided to tell me everything since I was a child, I won't grow up filled with hatred from my parents.
POV 2: I have forgiven both of my parents for getting separated. It's much better than living in sadness and being miserable.
POV 3: My mom was able to raise me and my siblings just fine so I'm fine. I don't need my father anymore.
POV 4: My mom was able to have another man to love her. He accepted me so I'm fine.
POV 5: It's much better that they are separated. At least I grew up not hearing them fight everyday.
Love_16
January 9, 2021
Saturday
