Discipline is something that none of us wants to experience. Parents never wanted to discipline their child but it's their task as parents to discipline their children. Discipline starts at home.
Nobody loves being disciplined for it is painful, uncomfortable, irritating and kids also somehow question the love of their parents whenever they are being disciplined.
Hebrews 12:11 New International Version
No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
Discipline is painful but it's always worth it. It's not our cup of tea but it surely has a positive effect to us.
Types of discipline:
Verbal discipline. This type of discipline is different from scolding. This is allowing the child to self reflect and determine the mistake he has done without you telling them. This way, you allow the child to beware of his actions and words. If ever you're angry, you have to calm down before talking to the child. This way, you can be able to explain well and your child will listen to you not out of fear but out of understanding that he did something wrong.
Example: One on one talk. The kind of talk without shouting or showing your anger towards the child, but showing disapproval with the child's behavior.
Using the hands to discipline. This type of discipline is not used nowadays due to child protection act but it was used way before to discipline a child who misbehave.
Example: Spanking. Do not use objects to spank your child. If ever you need to spank him, use your hand so that you can also feel the pain you inflicted in him. Do not use this often because this instills fear instead of understanding that what he did was wrong.
Disciplinary action. This type of discipline is about not allowing a child to use gadget or being grounded. This is based on the behavior of the child for the whole week. It's must not just be because you feel like disciplining the child.
Example: No cellphone for a week. I know that cellphone is useful but if it's what causes your child's misbehavior, you can check what he does on the phone. Everything can be easily accessed through internet. You have to check the root cause in order to prevent further damage to the child.
Remember the importance of explaining why a discipline is done. In this way, the child will understand that you discipline him for his own good, not just to make him sulk or feel bad about himself.
Personal Experience:
My parents are not the type to hurt us physically when it comes to disciplining us. My mom often sits down and talk to us calmly and allow us to reflect on what we did wrong, it's effects and the reason for misbehaving. They always make sure to hear our side and understand. They sometimes shout at us but they see to it that they are able to explain why we had to undergo verbal discipline. This made us become more careful of our actions.
They often ask us to embrace our siblings and ask for forgiveness whenever we have an argument or have physical fights. But they never try to make us do it out of our own obligation, they make us do it when we're ready. You see, I have 5 brothers and whenever they fight it's a complete chaos but when each one has their heads cooled down, they are able to see that physical fights with siblings are never okay.
My four year old nephew knows whenever he misbehaves. I often talk to him about it and he says he's sorry and that he'll never do it again. Whenever I ask him why he must listen to the elders he says, it's for my own good. It's so that I won't do it again. With good explanation, a child will surely feel more at ease in whatever he does. A child understands what you tell him.
A child will really misbehave, it's part of him being a child, but that type of behavior must have it's limit. When things are too much be must have the self awareness that he's being mean to others.
Undisciplined Child tend to become:
A brat.
A child becomes a brat whenever you give what she wants whenever she asks for it. She often acts sassy, and not caring for others. She doesn't know how to value what you give her because she's used to you giving her whatever she asks for.
Disrespectful.
A child who gets everything without even needing to sweat for it tend to look down on others. There is an impression on their minds where they feel so highly of themselves and it's not the child's fault. It's always the parents fault for allowing a child to grow disrespectful.
Sheltered kids.
Kids must know the value of everything you give him so he won't take anything for granted. A child must understand that parents do everything they can so a child will have a good and better life. It's good to pamper them from time to time but it's never okay to be the primary reason for them not to know the reality of life.
4. Irresponsible.
Yes parents always got the back of their kids but they must also be taught to be responsible for every act they do. They must know that you will never tolerate them if ever they do something wrong. They must know that every bad act has a corresponding consequence. That consequence doesn't necessarily mean a punishment but a discipline.
Selfish
They want everything to be about them. They don't know how to care for others. The children's act reflects the parents way of treatment to them. Their good traits are mostly from the way of parenting they have experienced since they were a child.
Importance of discipline:
Discipline is a lifelong learning. There are benefits from being disciplined at such a young age. Those learnings can be used up until the kids become parents themselves. It is part of life which must not be disregarded.
Discipline is a parental duty. It's important to set rules and regulations based on the level of the child. A child can only function the way he can. He is not a robot to do whatever you tell him instantly, that's why it's important that discipline is imposed since young.
Discipline is a form of love. No one will ever tell your kids that what they do is wrong except for you. It is a painful process but it helps in making the kids feel better. Do not point your fingers to your child, it somehow makes them feel more guilty than they already are.
Discipline is setting the boundary. Boundaries are protection for the child's well-being. The boundary that you're about to set as a parent in terms of discipline is more than just allowing your heart to melt whenever your child shows you his puppy eyes. There must be firmness in every decision you make.
Discipline is different from tolerating. Children must know their limit. They must know how to carry themselves when there are other people around. Minding the family's image is one thing but being responsible about their actions is another thing. Never doubt yourself when you have to give your child a form of discipline. The more you discipline them, the more they are able to use it for future purposes.
Discipline is a form of protection. It's not you trying to limit their movements, it's actually you helping them to improve themselves and realize their mistakes so that they will not do it again in the future.
Discipline is different from punishment. Punishment is for doing bad things and it's only goal is to hurt someone, while discipline is for correcting the mistakes done and it's goal is to teach the kids the value of being disciplined in every situation.
Personal Experience:
I can't say that me and my siblings are disciplined 100% to act all prim and proper but I can say that if we weren't disciplined at such a young age we will never reach our levels today.
My parents are good and kind to us. They taught us the value of waking up early so we won't be late. One of my siblings experienced not getting to school for waking up late. He was angry to all of us but my parents stood their ground that if he can't do that simple task of waking up early to go to school, then he won't be able to handle bigger things. He can be angry all he wants but he can't blame us for his own mishap.
The next time, he learned how to set up an alarm and wake up on his own. He had to leave the lesson the hard way in order to know that there are things which he must do by himself. His anger was for a while but it surely taught him well.
Love_16
January 4, 2021
Monday
