OVERthinking

Definition of overthinking

As I searched the google for the technical term of overthinking this is the first definition I’ve seen.

“Overthinking is exactly what it means, thinking too much. When you think too much, instead of acting and doing things, you are overthinking. When you analyze, comment and repeat the same thoughts over and again, instead of acting, you are overthinking. This habit prevents you from taking action.”

Aside from this there are different factors which caused a person to fall into overthinking. I believe that none of us wanted to keep our minds occupied with different things which keeps us up all night. We also know that overthinking is unhealthy but we are unable to stop our minds from thinking too much. Each of us has experienced overthinking. We also felt tired and drained after this. It’s when we sleep but when we wake up we still feel tired and we felt like unable to sleep at all. We lose our peace and serenity whenever we overthink.

People who overthink

~ Anyone can overthink and has the tendency to overthink. There is no specific age, gender or personality that limits this. It’s just that people have different ways of coping with it. Overthinking happens when a person thinks too much about the future. A mother or father can overthink about the future of their kids. A young professional can overthink about his career. A businessman can overthink about his business. The truth is, most people are prone to overthinking. The reasons might be extreme or simple. Human minds can create something that isn’t true as a defense mechanism. This is why training the mind has to be practiced regularly.

Different reasons for overthinking

You have mind so you are able to think, but anything too much is dangerous. Overthinking has many reasons and those reasons are common in life.

1.       Trust Issues

~ This is often caused by bad experiences from the past. Most of us are unable to face the fears of the past. We just live with it. When we thought that we overcame our past, that’s when the reality will remind us that we thought wrong. The wound might have healed but the scar remains.

Example: Cheating in a Relationship. You tend to reminisce and remember the pains of your previous relationship to your new relationship. You are unable to trust again. You are filled with doubts that your new partner will hurt you the same.

2.       Same problems: Same people

~ We all experienced getting hurt but we have different ways of coping with it. This leads to unresolved offenses. The offense differs in the degree and the people who caused the pain.

Example: Forgiving someone who hurts you repeatedly. When you forgive someone who has offended you, you give yourself another shot in trusting once more, but the thing is the offense is repeatedly done by the same person whom you have forgiven.

3.       Loneliness

~ Whenever we are alone, different thoughts come to our mind. This is one of the reasons why many people wanted to be surrounded by their friends. They feel at ease when their minds are occupied with new thoughts and ideas.

Example: Keeping everything to yourself. You are too afraid to open up because when you tried to do so, you were rejected. You learned how to mask your emotions and deal with pain by yourself.

4.       Unhealthy lifestyle

~ You use alcohol to help you fall asleep. You use drugs to help you forget what you’re going through. You use the cigarette to calm you. You use shopping to ease your stress. You use your job by overworking. But after doing all these things the problem is still there. Your circumstance did not change.

Example: Thinking that vices can help you ease your troubles. After drinking you’ll have hangover. After using drugs your mind is damaged. After smoking your lungs are affected. After overworking you’re abusing yourself. After shopping your bank account has zero balance.

5.       Fear of the future

~ Your mind is filled with what ifs’. You foresee the future when you think of today. You are filled with uncertainties. You become too critical which holds you back from being joyful.

Example: You are too futuristic. You always think ahead which causes you anxiety. It’s like you’ve seen the ending of a movie even when its filming has just started.

6.       Pessimism

~ Your thoughts revolve around failure. You don’t trust yourself enough that you are going to succeed. You are afraid of committing mistake even when it’s part of life. You become so obsessed of putting everything in its right place. You wanted to take control of everything even when it’s beyond your limits.

Example: Everything will go wrong. When you started something, due to lack of self-esteem, you consider failure as a grave sin. You wanted to be prefect in the eyes of everyone.

7.       Self-rejection

~ You allow yourself to criticize yourself. Even before you start doing something, your thoughts are filled with self-rejection. It’s more than being confident with yourself. It is actually about you hindering yourself by not having faith with what you can do.

Example: When you’re looking for a job. You tend to look at the qualifications and say that you can’t do it even when you can. Instead of submitting your resume, you just tell yourself that there is no point submitting a resume when you know that you’re not qualified enough and you won’t get hired.

Dangers of Overthinking

Many people thought that overthinking is not harmful enough. A mind that goes through a lot is as harmful as weapons.

1.       It leads you to UNHAPPINESS

~ When you overthink, you are unable to enjoy life and the people around you. People has the tendency to seek for more. It is difficult to satisfy the needs and wants because people are never contented of what they have.

Example: When you have seen a new advertisement about a new phone model, you tend to want to have it even when you have one-year old phone which doesn’t even have any issue. You tend to keep wanting more and depending your happiness to what you have. You overthink that when you don’t get what you want, you will be unhappy.

2.       It makes you REST DEPRIVED.

~ Overthinking keeps you up at night. You can’t function well because your mind is always bothered by your own thoughts. You can’t eat well. You lose your appetite and you spend most of your time drowning in your own thoughts.

Example: When you have so many thoughts on your mind, you feel more exhausted than when you are doing physical activities. It limits your full potential because your mind is unwell.

3.       It is UNHEALTHY.

~ “Mens sana in corpore sano”, “a healthy mind lives in a healthy body”. When your mind is unhealthy, your body follows it. Too much thoughts leads to too much pain in the heart and body.

Example: Physical activities are physically draining but when you eat, sleep and rest you become better. When your mind is exhausted, no matter what you do, you can’t put it at rest. The brain functions 24 hours and when your keep on feeding it negativity it gets more exhausted and exhausted.

4.       It KILLS people.

~ When people are too exhausted in everything, they tend to want to rest themselves in a different way. They want to put an end on their misery. That’s when unwanted happenings occur.

Example: Whenever you feel like the pain is too much, your thoughts wander to something else. Your mind is as healthy as your physical body. No one deprives you of thinking but you yourself must put a limit to the extent of your thought.

5.       It causes TOXICITY.

~ Continuous overthinking doesn’t just affect you, it also affects the people around you. Your family, workmates, friends and other people get to see your behavior toxic. The truth is, people wants to help you because they love you, but you drive people away by thinking that you don’t want to trouble them. No man is an island and it’s the sole reason why we have people around us to help and support us.

Example: No one ever wanted to be toxic to others. As much as possible people want to become a blessing to others but it’s difficult to do so when you yourself is overthinking about the things you have no control of.

6.       It drives you INSANE.

~ Overthinking makes you trapped in your own thoughts. It makes you locked up with nowhere to go except getting stuck.

Example: Overthinking is like staying in a room with a door. You wanted to go out but the door is locked and the thing is, you are the one holding the key to the door.

7.       It is STRESSFUL.

~ Usually the stress you have comes from your own thoughts. Overthinking make things more difficult than it really is. It make simple things more complicated.

Example: You want perfection and you want things to go your way. When it doesn’t you feel a lot more stressed and more worried about the future.

People affected by Overthinking

It’s important to take note of the people affected by overthinking. This applies to everyone involved in your life.

1.       Yourself

~ The first casualty of overthinking is yourself. You become too affected and hurt by your own thoughts. You keep on imagining things even before it happens. You are slowly getting drowned by your own thoughts and you feel like are unable to get away from it. You cause your own dose of worries even when there is really nothing to be worried about.

2.       Your family

~ Your family are as troubled as you are. They care about you and the things that happen to you. You might not see it but it affects them as well. Your spouse, children, parents, siblings, church mates and relatives worry about you. They are concern of your own welfare.

3.       Your friends

~ True friends will be there for you no matter the circumstances are. They will take time to check on you from time to time and will go through the journey with you. They will give you everything that they can offer. They will give you all the love and support you needed.

Ways on how to stop Overthinking

1.       Do things one step at a time.

~ It is more productive when you are able to finish one activity at a time than to overwork yourself by multi-tasking. When you multi-task your brain is having a hard time to process things. Just like when there are too many opened tabs in a laptop or computer, you are unable to focus in one thing. When you step on ladder you must climb up in every step, when you try to skip a step you have the tendency to fall. Take things slow.

2.       Do your best in everything.

~ Failure is not something you should fear about. It is part of life. It’s much better to fail knowing that you did your best than to fail then regret and tell yourself that you could have done better. Give your 100% in all you do.

3.       Ask questions.

~ Instead of jumping to conclusions it’s much better to ask questions from the people around you. Mistrust causes doubt. Everyone is guilty of concluding without further evidence and ending up wrong.

4.       Focus on the matter at hand.

~ Make sure to give yourself enough time to process what you do than to pressure yourself that you needed to finish different activities in a day. It is unproductive to push yourself too much. It stains both your mind and body.

5.       Journal your thoughts and ideas.

~ This helps you to sort out your thoughts. You are able to organize what you’ve written and be able to see that not all thoughts are worth thinking about. It also helps you to monitor what you always think about and train yourself not to indulge in the same thought.

6.       Feed you mind right.

~ When you’re feeling down and you kept on listening to sad and melancholic songs, you end up getting sadder of your situation but when you try to listen to uplifting songs, you end up having a better spirit. Intentionally read educational thoughts. Listen to wholesome music. Watch informative movies, documentaries, and news. Read the Bible so that you will know what is right and keep yourself from too much worry. This is not to distract you. This is to allow you to break your old habits and have a new one.

7.       Exercise.

~ Your body is affected by your mind. When you exercise you allow your body to relax and you train your mind to do the same. Keep yourself healthy by exercising.

8.       Meet your family and friends.

~ Do not isolate yourself. Surround yourself with people whom you love and trust. They can be your church mates as well. It’s much better to know that you are never alone in the battles you face than to keep everything to yourself. No man is an island. You need someone to be with you in good times and most importantly in bad times.

9.        Eat Healthy foods.

~ Have a balanced diet. Include the go, grow and glow foods in your menu. Eat at the right time. Do not starve yourself when you have problems. It is the time when you need more strength to face your troubles.

10.   Build new Habits.

~ Distracting yourself is temporary but building new habits is allowing yourself to enjoy new productive things. Productivity doesn’t come overnight. It takes will power and action for it to be done.

11.   PRAY.

~ Never forget that God cares for you and He perfectly understands you. Let go of your worries in His hands and allow yourself to be happy. There is much that this life has to offer. It’s more than the circumstances that you face.

PERSONAL INSIGHT

I also experienced overthinking. It felt as though my head is going to explode from too much thinking. I experienced not feeling hungry, sleeping but waking up tired and crying too much. Up until I came to realize that my thoughts are what eats my sanity. Good thing that I have a loving and supportive family who never lets be by myself. My friends check on me from time to time. My church mates pray for me and I started allowing myself to enjoy life. Whenever I’m stressed out, I clean the house. I write on my journal the things that bother me and most importantly I read the Bible which puts my mind at ease.

Life is a journey and a journey is never complete when you don’t experience things that make a journey more exciting.

Love_16

November 25, 2020

Wednesday