Note to self
I'm the type of person to set rules to myself but ends up breaking it because I care about the person much more than what I feel about a certain situation or whatever it is that, that person has done. I will put a boundary and do the opposite which is honestly frustrating most of the times.
So I'm making this "Note to self so I won't forget."
Do not bother others.
I always make sure that I have no unread messages in messenger because I know the feeling of waiting for a response or waiting for my message to be seen. I don't want others to feel the same way I'm feeling so I end up replying to late night messages and such. I always message them first asking how they're doing or even sending them messages expecting to receive the same treatment which is clearly a wrong mindset.
Not because I check up on them, they'll do the same for me.
Do not over share to others.
I'm the type of person to complain a lot especially if I see something which is really bothersome as well as the things which make me uncomfortable. When I share, most of the times, I over share. It's my way of releasing my stress because afterwards I'll feel better but it's also what got me in trouble with the person I thought I can trust. I was stabbed in the back and me being me, I trusted her and even lend her my review materials after what she did.
I thought that she's my confidant not knowing that she'll share to others her complaints about me. I am a straight forward person so I definitely won't stab you in the back, instead I'll say it on your face so you won't have to know it from others.
Do not exhaust myself in workloads.
I have a perfectionist side which make the things around me a lot more difficult to handle. I experienced working 2-3 hours overtime without pay just to make sure that everything is in it's proper place. Aside from that, I sleep late and wake up early so I can make up for the things which I was unable to do. I always want to be in control of everything around me which is really exhausting so I'm planning to make sure that I do things just within the allotted time for my work.
Honestly, I'm supposed to be in a holiday vacation but just look at me checking outputs, making lessons, quizzes and getting tired of looking at the screen the whole day just so I won't be rushed when the time of deadline comes. But I'm not planning to continue the same cycle next year.
Save more.
It's been my third job and here I am penniless. I don't have any investment, savings, insurance, emergency fund or any amount in my wallet at the moment. I have debt to pay and I haven't done anything for my future. I am always the type to spend my money all at once which will eventually lead me into having debts. I have no savings for the future. Which is why I am definitely decided to save up. I plan to save the 20% of my salary for my savings and an external savings so I can make sure that I am not wasting my money.
I bought books which will help and guide me. I have also started the Ipon Challenge and I hope that my excitement will continue until I'm able to finish the challenge.
Be healthy.
I am unhealthy. I have belly fat, I am getting fatter, I am prone to dehydration and I don't take care of myself that much. If you have read my previous articles, you will understand how I've always battled for my health. I've always been unhealthy and I don't want it to continue. I would love to see myself in good shape so I can work better and be better. I want to live longer so I must keep myself healthy starting now.
I'm planning to go on jogs but since it's a cold weather, I'd like to sleep some more. Besides my body clock haven't gone back to normal. I am still nocturnal somehow.
Connect to God on a daily basis.
I admit that I wasn't able to do my devotionals this year. I don't want to give any reason because I know that my reasons aren't valid. I wasn't as prayerful as much as I was doing before. I wasn't reading the Bible and meditating on God's word. I don't go to Church for physical Sunday services and just attends online where I am seldom attentive. I don't attend any life group and I got disconnected from the people at the church, so I'm starting to regain my composure and reconnect to God.
After all, none of the things on earth shall stay. Everyone will die. Everything will wither and what's always important is my relationship with God. There is life after this and where I'm going is definitely determined by my relationship with God.
Travel and relax.
Life has been way too stressful for me and my family. I lost my papa last September 24, 2021. He's now in heaven. I got hired in my second job last January 25, 2021 and resigned last October 15, 2021 because I finally got hired in my new job. I started working in my second job last October 15, 2021 as well and now, I'm still learning about everything. I still have issues with my second job which I'm still trying to fix until this time and I'm hoping that it will be done before this year ends. I don't want to start 2022 with excess baggages of 2021. I don't have the time to process and grieve for what happened to my father because life has been way too fast and if I stop I'll get left behind. That's what I've always been feeling. Life must go one because I know that he will be sad if I'm always sad and crying which I still does until now.
I wanted to have some time to feel refreshed from everything that happened and I want a fresh start. I want to continue moving forward and looking forward to the next days to come.
In conclusion, life is short. It is a gift which can be taken anytime, so I must always be prepared and live my life according to God's purpose.
Love_16
December 28, 2021
Monday
