Making independent decisions

We will not forever be babies who has to latch on to our mothers for milk. We will not forever be toddlers who will cry about what we want in order to get it. We will not forever be hormonal teenagers who take everything out by constantly trying everything that we are curious about. We will experience adulthood where we will have to face the reality of life.

We will eventually have to move out of our comfort zone and live on our own. Our parents house are our comfort zones where we don't have to constantly think about food, shelter and other basic necessities. Our friends won't always be the same friends that we can have until forever. We will grow old. We will mature. We will start thinking about what's ahead of us and take action about the things that we need to consider in life.

Most of us thinks that being a child is a burden when in fact, it's the most wonderful part of our lives. It's the time when all we think about is to play and enjoy life. When we're on our teenage years, we get to know ourselves more and try to fit in since we don't have the identity and we're oftentimes confused about who we really are. That's the reason why our emotions are all over the place and without proper guidance, it's difficult for us to move forward. We even have the tendency to become unkind to everyone especially to ourselves.

While studying, we are always looking forward to the time when we're already professionals. We have the mindset that once we graduated from college, found a job, have a love life things will fall into place. Then reality hits you that it's never that way. It's not true that once you have a job, you're financially secured. It's not true that opportunities will come knocking at your door when you have a college degree and a diploma. Been there, done that.

We will also see the truth about what life really is. We might also feel that we are left behind or that we kept messing up or there's no hope for us anymore but those are just lies we stuck in our minds which we often play on repeat. Life is a wonderful gift that must be enjoyed and used with a purpose.

Soon you'll think about settling down with the person you love. Building your own family. Having a stable income. Buying a house and lot. Or even migrating somewhere abroad.

Most of us thinks that when we're on the field we always wanted to be will be the pinackle of success. Most of us thinks that as long as we have the jobs we've always wanted, we are safe and secured. But life isn't like that. There is always what's next that we often forget to live. What we do is survive, think about the future, repeat. It's a never ending cycle that none of us ever wanted to get stuck but guess what, it's now the reality for most of us.

I actually thought that once I'm a teacher in public school, I'll have everything figured out on my own. I'll have the money, stable job and most of all, I'll be able to get my family out of this place I grew up at. When I graduated in college, I was filled with dreams and hopes for the future. It's as though I have the power to do everything because I finally have it. After years of hard work and going through and excruciating exam, I thought that I'd be fine.

Guess what, I'm not. I'm still trying to figure out what to do, and that's okay. Life is not a race. I felt envious to the people around thinking that they're far ahead of me. They have their ally own houses, cars, businesses and even spouses. And here is am still the same old me.

Then I was reminded that people has no contentment. No matter what they have and what they do, they are never contented in anything. They will always ask for more. Then the pandemic happened.

The world came to a halt. Stuck at home, avoiding to get sick, saw what's essential and what isn't. Felt the urge to do something and went back to square one. As the world paused, my life paused as well. It led me to a series of serious reflection about my life.

Things has to be postponed for a moment not until I was given the opportunity to think and appreciate every little thing about me and the people around me. A lot of talking to my parents. A lot of bickering to my siblings. A lot of appreciation to plants, sun, air, sky, and other wonderful creations of God. I even had the time to appreciate the birds chirping and seize the moment that me and my whole family is healthy.

I did a lot of cleaning and throwing out things that doesn't matter anymore. I did a lot of arts which eased my anxiety. I stopped thinking about the future and lived in my present. I grew more connected to God by doing meditation, devotionals, Bible reading and prayer.

How about you?

When was the last time that you have been really happy?

When was the last time that you were able to appreciate the life that you have?

When was the last time that you took your eyes off of your gadget and just simply enjoyed the peace and serenity of your surroundings?

When was the last time you just sat down, evaluate your life or have a self reflection?

What do you look forward to?

What are the next actions that you're going to take in order to achieve your life goals?

Are you still excited about tomorrow?

As for me, I'm in the stage of adulthood where I'm making my own decisions, making mistakes, learning from it, applying the things I've learned and constantly appreciating myself better. I love myself and I can't give it to others if I don't have it.

I have my family that loves me for who I am. I have a few friends with quality. I have church pastors, leaders and churchmates who always got my back in prayers. I have pets who senses the emotions I have and always who their love and appreciation towards me. I have a stable job with a stable income which teaches me a lot of things as well. And most of all, I have God. He promised to never leave nor forsake me. He understands my pain, what I'm going through and He's here. He's always there watching over me.

I praise God for the things that He allows me to experience. I thank God for the pain for without it, I wouldn't know how strong I've become. I thank God for taking my father for He allowed my father to be healed completely in Hid loving arms. I thank God for the opportunities opened for me which I didn't take because I have Him. No matter what happens, I am never alone.

Love_16

January 21, 2021

Friday