Life has never been the same for me. From my childhood until now, I know that I still have a lot to learn and do but I'm growing and learning little by little. I'm starting to grow into the better version of myself everyday.
From my battle with good health, to the battle with how I handle and manage myself and my thoughts, upto building myself into an independent and strong woman that I am now today, upto experiencing the biggest heartbreak by losing the love of my life upto reaching my dreams and goals in life, I must say that I am never the same anymore.
I've come to an agreement with myself not to be apologetic for having emotional breakdowns, expressing my opinions when needed and never having the need to please others. I was once a people pleaser. I might not look like it due to my strong personality but I always prioritize others which made me please and think about them.
With all the friendships I've had, I now know that there is no constant. People come and go. Whether they still think of me as their friend or acquaintance doesn't matter anymore. The promises we had to never forgetting each other has never been true to us. We just brush past each other. Nothing more, nothing less.
My friends in elementary or high school are not my friends anymore. They are just now my acquaintance. But I thank them still for being in my life even if it was just a brief moment. They definitely taught me something or made my life a little colorful.
My first job has taught me how people hate others when they want to. Whether I do good or bad, they always have something to say against me. It wasn't a pleasant experience but it taught me the fact that I only have myself and no one else. The memories I had there are a mix of pleasant and unpleasant memories. But those are just memories and nothing else.
My second job has taught me how a person and employee should be treated. It was ironic how I felt like I belong and I don't belong at the same time. I knew that I'll always go back to my passion and dream. I knew that my time there won't take long but I still cherish the people I once knew. They are there when I needed someone to lean on. They understood and comforted me in the way they can. They also helped me and my family. They are really kind and nice. They even took the initiative to call and reach out to me. They offered me something that can't be turned down but I still did. They are an awesome family.
My third job at the moment makes me think about what I'm going to do next. I'm not the type of person to live in the moment. I always make sure to have a backup plan and I don't want to grow old with regrets for not doing what needs to be done. I wanted to explore and make the most out of everything that happens around me.
It's okay...
It's okay to be myself and never needing to apologize for knowing the things that I want in life.
It's okay to not respond to the people who message me on social media. It's my own time and volition to message them. It's not my responsibility to begin with.
It's okay to think about myself and do the things that I want from time to time. I also deserve to enjoy and do the things which will make me feel happy.
It's okay to say NO to the things which makes me uncomfortable and not doings things which I don't want to do. I have my own principles, needs and wants in life so it's okay.
It's okay to commit mistakes because it's part of growing up and getting better. It's okay to commit mistakes and learn from it.
It's okay even if I don't have friends. I'm fine on my own. I'm better on my own. The only one I have will always be my family and myself. It's more than enough.
It's okay to feel sad, cry, rant and give up. If things are not worth fighting for anymore, it's okay to give up. My peace of mind is more important than anything else.
It's okay even if I'm single because I'm happy, contented and loved. I am whole and complete. With or without a man, I am complete because I have God.
It's okay to always be myself. I am fine and better by myself. It's okay...
Love_16
November 14, 2021
Sunday
