As I was growing up, I don't have many friends. I can just count it in my fingers. When I was in elementary, I only have one male and one female best friend. When I entered high school I've had four female friends who after a year then decided that they don't want to be friends with me anymore. When I entered college I've had a new set of friends with four females including me and two males. When I graduated in college and started working I've had a new friend during my first year. She is someone whom I get along well. Then on my second year of teaching I've had new workmates who had been my friends as well.
We were five in the group. Four women and one man. We're happy being together and enjoying the moments we've had not just as workmates but as friends.
You see it's very seldom for me to have that much friends because I'm introvert and I like keeping everything to myself. I don't have the nicest attitude or the looks which makes people attracted to o someone. I'm not someone you'll notice because I always like to stay in a corner where I am unnoticeable.
The social life I can say that I have is me attending the church. I go to church every Sunday and I get to enjoy fellowship with the women at the church.
***
Intimacy is something we always long for. We long to have someone who cares for us and someone whom we can share our troubles with. It's good to have a deep connection and intimacy to someone we can trust.
People are created to be intimate to others. It's good to enjoy and have fun with own another. No man is an island. We all need someone whom we can count on.
It's important to have be vigilant and to not be too trusting. Some people only wants to be the first one to know about your downfall and start mocking you. Many people only wants to see you at your weakest pint in order to make fun of you.
Guard what you say to the people around you because many of them will try to twist the truth by being story makers. They will try to use your words against you.
You will be the villain in their story and those with the same attitude as them will get easily swayed and spread falls rumors about you. They will not want to see you succeeding or happy. They will always use every single opportunity they get in order to destroy you.
I have experienced not doing anything and not even dealing with others but still be hated by them. They always try to point out my mistakes but they are unable to do so because I am faithful with my job. I've heard worst words but I never paid attention to it. I talked to them calmly when they shout, point their fingers at me and had their eyes almost out of its socket. They tried to stir me into anger but I was professional enough not to retaliate and give them the satisfaction they'll get of ever I act the same way as them.
I've never been rude to them and they even tried to tell false things about me to our boss and other workmates.
I've experienced sharing my troubles to others and become the gossip circulating in a group chat. I felt offended and my trust has been broken because the fact that I sent the message personally means that I trust the person. But then I trusted the worng one and only realized it a little late.
I was shocked and unable to absorb what I've learned but there's always a way on how to piss them off.
The best way to piss off those kinds of people are by smiling at them and not taking everything to heart. During my last days at work, I apologized to them. Not because it's my fault but simply because I want to set myself free from any hatred. I want to leave without any bad blood.
I've done my job faithfully and the people who knows me better than to trust their bad words against me are the ones who proved them wrong.
They can stab me at the back multiple times, but those who knows the truth are enough motivation to continue living and doing what is right.
***
I cut off my relationship with them by unfriending them in my Facebook. I don't want to be a hypocrite and act as if it's okay to stay connected in some way. Sometimes unfriending the people who harms you in any way and leaving the cause of toxicity is the best choice.
It's not running away. It's an act of bravery that you'll never allow yourself to be on the same tight spot where you are continuously oppressed.
I decided to leave after my contract has ended in order to take a rest and free myself from worrying that they are talking about me or that I'll one I'll just wake up with questioning stares form.the people around me.
Not everything must be shared to anyone. It's important to choose the right people share your ups and downs because those who truly cares for you will be there to cheer you up and celebrate with you.
I came to realize that I can never please everyone. Whether I do good or I do bad, there will always be those people who will find faults in me. Since they can't find a single mistake in me they tried to use language in order to trigger me which they did not get the satisfaction.
But it's always better to do the right thing and to do good and be criticized than to do bad and be criticized because it's what you deserve.
It's better to have few true friends than to have many fake friends. It's as dangerous as walking in a mine field. A single mistake step can surely cause life.
***
I wanted to share this to you so that you'll be reminded of building right connections to right people.
Your influence will speak louder than the gossip of those who wanted to taint your reputation.
Beware of those people who lingers around you.
I have learned the hard way and now I know better than to repeat the same mistake.
Love_16
December 22, 2020
Tuesday
