Don't kiss and tell

I've been on a work from home setup since I got hired last January 25, 2021. I've gone to the office for a 3-4 times and since then I've been working from home especially with this ongoing pandemic. A lot of things happened and I'm now on my 7th month in the company. I've known my workmates for a while now and they are all helpful, nice and kind to me. They are always willing to help me with work related problems and all that. And I'm blessed to have that kind of virtual environment.

We have a group where we gather and talk with each other from time to time as well as dealing with work related topics and personal life a sometimes which is an important thing to be done in order to get closer and feel a lot more motivated. I'm not the type who has the nicest personality and I always like to keep things in private especially my experiences and feelings.

I've been teaching myself to keep quiet when I'm not needed to be spoken with and to share my thoughts to someone who is trustworthy but other than that I don't speak about personal stuff because in my point of view, it's unnecessary and irrelevant to share with others. Besides, there's a part of mw which I would like to keep to myself no matter what the circumstances are.

We have this group call this week where we've had a little personal topic about love. It started with questions about our definition of what love is and such until one of our male colleagues shared about his personal sex life where he was laughing and stated that he was having sex with his ex girlfriend and his knees are aching due to the three rounds they've had and how he's tired doing to all by himself and the girl was just moaning and all that.

I felt sad and sorry for the girl because they've been in a relationship for 7 years, they broke up and the girl even begged him to get back with her. He was proud and laughing as he shared about how he chased the girl away since they're over. He doesn't have anything to do with her anymore so he just simply doesn't care. What made me more irritated is that he was really proud of what happened and he was laughing like it was some sort of a joke. I can't take it anymore so I left the group call for about 5 minutes then decided to return and the topic was on a more matured level of love.

As a woman, I felt sorry for his ex girlfriend knowing that what happened to them was shared in a way that she isn't respected at all. It's a private matter between them and she deserves to be respected with or without her presence.

She was once loves by him but the way she shared that story was disappointing. Everyone of us were silent as it felt awkward to even say a thing. He clearly doesn't know how degrading and unwholesome that topic is.

I also felt happy for the girl because she is now free from a person like him who isn't trustworthy enough to be with. She deserved better. Their 7 year relationship is nothing to him. He doesn't respect her at all. He doesn't deserve her.

I remember when I was in highschool, one of our male teachers told us exactly what my male colleague did. My teacher said that, it might have been a special feeling for the girl to give herself to the person she loves but when a boy gets to have it, he'll share it to others, especially to his friends, brag about it and laugh it out. He'll share how a grill have been on bed, how many times they did it and how he enjoyed or how he didn't enjoy it that much. He told us to beware and never let our guards down and guess what he's right. My teacher in highschool is right.

If you're a woman reading this, please know your worth. You deserve to be loved an respected. You must give yourself to someone who is afraid to lose you and will treat you with respect. You deserve someone who is willing to wait before he claims you. You are a precious. You deserve to be loved.

If you're a man reading this, I hope you treat a woman with respect and you don't kiss and tell. Whatever happened with the two of you behind closed doors just stay there. If you really loved her, give her the respect that she deserves even if you're no longer together. Having her on your bed doesn't give you the right to disrespect her. She was once loved by you so even if you did not end up together, protect her and don't be the one to damage her image.

As for my point of view, it's not true that a man loses nothing when he have sex with many women and feel proud as if it's na achievement. He doesn't actually deserve to be called a man. He is a boy who isn't matured enough and decided to explore but ended up getting hurt. He'll definitely get a dose of his own medicine.

Don't date someone just to go with the flow and for the sake of being in a relationship. Don't date without the thought of putting a ring on her finger and bringing her to the altar asking for the blessing and her family and most importantly, God's blessing. Don't date when you know that you aren't ready as it will just make both of you hurt and miserable. Don't date if you just came from a breakup and hasn't moved on as it will just ruin the both of you. Don't give yourself to just anyone available because it will just make you wounded.

You are worth the wait.

You deserve to be treated right.

You will meet someone who will love you unconditionally.

PS. I tried to write this in Filipino but the words are way too vulgar, so I decided to just write it in English.

Love_16

August 21, 2021

Saturday