Bossy

I came home disheartened and hurt by the things I've learned today. I'm not the type of person to talk behind someone else's back because I always think that it's unfair and unethical as well. It's never been in my vocabulary and practice to say awful things about someone especially if that someone is not with me at the moment.

If I have a problem with someone, I say it straight to that person's face because it's the right thing to do. Now, if that person was hurt because of the words I said, I apologize for hurting that person and tell him that I am concern with him and I never wanted to sugarcoat my words. You'll hear an honest opinion and feedback to me when you ask for it.

One of my colleagues told me that our head was talking behind my back together with another head from the different department, saying negative things about me such as words as I'm bossy. I never thought that that is how I am perceived by them since I am not as talkative as the others or as expressive as them.

I always use honorifics when talking to them so I wonder how I ended up as someone who is bossy. I'm glad that one of my workmates told me about it so I'll be more careful next time.

My point is, my head or the person who is an authority over me should've talked to me about it so that I'll be aware about it instead of talking to someone else about that attitude problem they see in me. She should've mentored me so I'll know and explained it to me further.

I've heard them talking about someone else behind their backs so I'm aware that they have that kind of attitude but I didn't know that they'll do it with me as well. I thought that they'll change their ways and speak to the person directly. They are old people so I expected them to be more matured in handling these types of matter and they also have the longer years in service.

I might be a newbie but I'm efficient in my job and I always make sure that I do it properly. I might not be the best but I make sure that you'll see no negative or incorrect matter in my job.

I honestly felt so down and now, I'll be more aware of the words and actions that I do.

Being bossy has always been the people's feedback with me. Ever since I was a student up until now that I am already working. They always see me as someone who is bossy, authoritative and mean. Even though I don't want to be perceived and seen that way, and I always try to manage myself, I always end up hearing the same thing over and over again.

The problem is in me. One of my colleagues told me to beware of my choice of words and be more accommodating to others. I'm trying to be nice as much as possible but it's not what they see.

I guess I'll have to start being more self aware and self reflective. I also need to be wise as to whom I share my thoughts and ideas with. As per one of my articles, work is work and it will always be just that. It has to stay that way.

Love_16

June 22, 2022

Wednesday