Back to square one

A lot of things has happened and as much as I want to share it with you, I can't tell you everything unlike before. I can't update as often as possible because I'm too busy to do it just like before. But I would like to share with you a milestone for me.

Who would've thought that a quiet but sharp tongued person like me will become a teacher? Actually, even my classmates before can't even believe it. It has also been a rough 1st year of teaching in public school for me. Yes, you read it right. I've been in the service for a year already. Time indeed flies so fast.

I was hired last October 15, 2021, a day before my birthday. And I celebrated my 1st year anniversary last October 15, 2022. A lot of unhappy, unprecedented and unexpected things has happened but I praise God for the opportunity to live life to the fullest. Another issue has come up for me. They said that I was sitting while teaching which I never actually did during my class. The students can serve as witnesses since it's us who are always together. I'm just forever grateful that I still have a job since I badly need this to sustain my family's needs.

I am the biggest source of income in the house at the moment. I am supporting the studies of my youngest brother. I am also sustaining my needs as I'm currently taking my masters degree. Aside from that, I'm also on the road to healing my TMJ which definitely costs me a lot of money but I know that it is definitely worth it in the end.

There are also a lot of questions that keep on popping in my mind. I also somehow question myself whether I'm an effective teacher or whether this is what I've always wanted to do in the first place. I want to go abroad since I'm the underdog and every single difficult thing is given to me. But I want to prove to myself that I am strong and I always have God as my backup no matter what happens.

"Are they learning from me?"

"Am I motivating them?"

"Am I a good role model to them?"

"Is this what I really want?"

"Until when will I keep on doing this?"

"Until when will I experience this unfairness?"

These are just some of the few questions that I think about at night. There's no definite answer yet but I know that I'll definitely have it in due time.

Good night and may you have a peaceful heart and sleep.

Love_16

October 19, 2022

Wednesday