Insecurities

Jeremy is a 14-year-old teenager who feels too shy around new people. One time, his parents brought him to a corporate party where they introduced him to their business partners. He's too uncomfortable and barely shake the hands of those businessmen. When his parents are having a long talk with their new business partner, Jeremy silently went outside and just stayed at a gazebo where he can't see any guest coming. He just stayed there and played mobile games until he received a phone call from his mom. "Oh if I only know how to drive, I would've just grabbed dad's car and went home than stay here", Jeremy thought before going back inside.

Ariane is a pretty 16-year-old girl, but she has a very low self-esteem. One time her teacher ask her to be the representative of their class for an upcoming mini pageant at their school and her classmates also believe that she'll win it, but Ariane is not confident about doing it and the thought of facing the entire school body makes her cringe.

What does these two have in common? They are bought suffering from insecurities.

Does the fear of losing or not being able to succeed hinders you from doing the things you love doing, or you want to do? Do you feel jealous about the success of others? Do you usually think about and feel worried about what others might think of you? Perhaps do you feel awkward about meeting new people or feels shy to introduce yourself? Do you feel hurt when others say something negative about you? Then you might be dealing with having insecurities. Where does insecurity come from? Is there a way to overcome insecurities?

So let's talk about insecurity. Insecurity is universal. All of us are born as imperfect humans, so we have the tendency to feel insecure and useless at times. Young people or teenagers are the most prone to having this negative feeling. Why? Because a teenager is still young and vulnerable, they easily feel insecure and not confident about doing things that is unfamiliar to them.

While people of various ages feels insecure from time to time, in this article I will mainly pertain to the younger people when talking about people with insecurities. Teenager are at the most vulnerable stage of life, they always worry about their looks, whether they are popular, likeable and easily gets shy. But why does most teenagers feel this way? The reason is that they experience a stage in their life where they are experiencing a lot of changes in their body. Changes which they have no control over and these affect a teenager's view of himself/herself.

One factor that affects our confidence is our environment. Families are expected to provide emotional support and guidance, but sometimes, there are parents who fail to do this. Instead of providing support to their children, they become the source of criticisms and some withholds a simple commendation and affection to their children. This is the sad truth in today's world. A parent's unreasonable criticism may cause heartbreak to a teenager's vulnerable heart and insecurity.

Insecurities may also become worse when someone also receives constant teasing about his or her weakness. For example being teased because of having pimples may lead someone to think that he or she is ugly even though that is bot the case. Being told dumb at home will make someone think that he or she is not art enough to perform better in school.

Yes, being insecure and lacking self-confidence at times is universal. A lot underwent it and some are experiencing it up to this moment, it's because we are all imperfect human beings and feeling inadequate and worthless at times is just normal. Specially with young people or teenager, since they are still young, inexperienced and vulnerable, it's natural to feel uneasy about doing unfamiliar and new things.

The people you associate ypurself with also plays a role. There might be some associates who will undermine your self-confidence by constantly criticizing, or teasing because of how you look and act. Just like my friend's experience before, he was being constantly bullied by his family members and housemates because he has a lot of pimples. They call him names because of that and as a teenager, it really hurts him being called names and being teased because of the way he looks.

How to Avoid Insecure Feelings

Whatever the reason may be, and what caused it, insecurity is just a part of growing up and time will come that you can be more confident. 

Here are some of the steps that can help someone to overcome the feelings of insecurity and be more confident.

Acknowledge the positive qualities you already have or posses. Perfection can never be achieved since no human being is perfect, so embrace yourself as you are. Embrace your inner beauty, and it will help you view yourself more positively.

Don't compare yourself to others. Comparing will not only make you lose confidence, sometimes it can also make you feel irritated. Does being jealous of someone else that is better than you, smarter than you, or prettier than you makes him or her better than you? Of course not! Everyone is unique. Think about it, the qualities that you hate about yourself, or you're unaware that you have, may be the quality that someone is being jealous of as well. 

Make Friends. In Proverbs 13:20, the bible says: The one who walks with the wise will become wise. So try to make good friends who will bring out the best in you, friends who will help you cultivate good attitudes and will help you and gives you support during times of adversity.

Change your attitude. There are some people who are beautiful or handsome, but they still think that they are ugly, while there are other people who are not that attractive, but they think highly of themselves and says they are pretty or handsome. Attitude matters to be more confident.

Don't be afraid of criticisms. Don't let people's negative words affect you, specially if those words are only meant to put you down. But if people give legitimate criticisms or constructive, apply it and make some changes in you in accordance to the criticism given.

When you learn to embrace your flaws and appreciate the positive in you, you will see your true value. And one more thing is that, God values us so much. Be more confident in yourself!