I was relieved when time was not a problem

There is something strange, something missing in this room, I know. I still can't find what it is, but at least I'm not in a rush to succumb to time.

Because something strange happened. I was sitting on the sofa in the living room thinking what was missing. A fuss in the middle of my chest for no reason. I think I was in such a rush that the time came and she sat right next to him. That was the last time he measured it. The moment our eyes met. We agreed without speaking.

It was as if he was saying think whatever you want.

As much as I need timelessness, take it from me.

At least my heart was freed from a rush. Since there was no time problem, I was also comfortable. What will I find that is missing?

I control every item, every feeling in the hall one by one. There is something missing, I know there is something strange, I can feel it in my bones, but I can't find what the damn thing is missing.

Curtains, cushions, half-dry flowers, coffee table, what's on the coffee table. An empty bottle on the table, a few sedated tranquilizers. A letter that you wrote to me, but for some reason it ends as sorry, forgive me.

Strange though, why did you write me a letter?

Anyway.

All ok, all ok.

But what is missing?

Of course.

The carpet, the goddamn carpet, and the huge gap in the middle.

I guess that's what's missing.

I tried, but I tried for hours to remove that huge stain in the middle. I tried every way, every chemical I could think of, it didn't work. Finally I cut out and threw away the stained part. You don't like it because you stained things.

I couldn't resist the carpet either. I know how precious that carpet is to us, I couldn't throw it away. When we first moved into this house, we had no money. I kept talking and you left because I'm coming right away. After a while you came back with that horrible carpet in your hand. A black, worn carpet with torn edges. That rug you bought secondhand with the last money in your pocket. Our first bed, our first dining table, the carpet we made love to after our first fight.

I couldn't throw him.

It didn't come out, damn stain, you can't love the stains and the red ones. I cut it out and threw it away. There is a huge void in the middle of the carpet now, just like that void I felt in the middle of my chest. Anyway, some of them still exist.

Besides, they lied to us, some colors supposedly don't show stains.

Lie!

Then how is it that a crimson stain in the middle of the black carpet looks as if it were white?

This means that no color can cover some stains. White to see someone off, black to send someone off, brown earth to their destination, blue sky above their heads, greenish under their feet. None of them can close the body of red. None of them can afford the pain that red leaves inside people...

Liars, liars.

They lied to us.

Anyway, what was I saying...

There is something missing in this room, I know there is something strange. There is a strangeness in this house, just like that strangeness that keeps squeezing my chest. It's not just the carpet that's missing. It can't be that carpet washed in red, it's just weird. If there was any oddity, when I got home, I wouldn't have found you lying so peacefully on that carpet in red, would I?

Besides, you don't like stains, so you can't be so peaceful in such a strange situation.

So it must be something else, something else.

I know, I know you'll be home soon, I'm being lazy again. I'm definitely hungry, I need to cook.

But there is one thing missing in the hall, a huge space.

Time and I are sitting on the couch. He also knows that there is something strange, that I am filled with a huge void. We met eye to eye at the last time he measured it.

“As much as I need timelessness, I will stop,” he said.

And time stopped.

Time and I stopped.