@Ling01
Stop the Wedding
*First and foremost, I'm not against about wedding and I didn't stop any wedding. Why I came up with the title? because I have witnessed a supposedly precious moment but felt like not. If you have some thoughts and opinions about this issue, then let me know on the comment section.* ***But first let me Flex to you my sponsors, one of those persons who guide and support me throughout my journey here. You guys can check them too:)*** ________________________
Last Saturday, I attended the wedding in one of my boy bestfriend. I'm actually confused about his wedding, as 2 weeks before that special day, he just sent in our GC, a message saying *"you are all invited in my wedding, just for those who want to attend"* then no more. Then we was like, excuse me, when, where, how and what *LOL*. Another is in his myday stories, I am not active in social media, but I can see his Myday because he is in the top of my featured stories; then it was all about sad things, like sometimes crying emojis. Lastly, the day before his wedding, I asked him where is the exact location of the church, then he just only replied *"I'm having a fever bestfriend, just chat you at night."* So what I did, is I chat my other friendship and asked, *"does he forced to married?".* *Fast forward..* We finally reached the church, it's a mass wedding. Then after, we need to go in their reception; the girl's house. We are in the car, 4 of us in the backseat, then the one who is driving is their family friend, while the other seat in front is my bestfriend's mother. *"It's done Tita,"* said by my gay bestfriend *"Yes, I have nothing to do with it"* *"Of course you have nothing to do now, your son already signed their marriage contract. Earlier, the priest asked if who wants to stop the wedding, why you didn't stand up? It's 3 minutes of waiting, a chance to stop the wedding but you didn't"*, said by the one who is driving So I asked my gay bestfriend if he was forced to get married, and he replied. *"Yeah, just like that. It's a very long long story."* Then we found out that it's not their will to marry at that time, that early. Although they love each other, but because of forced marriage, we cannot see the love anymore. Actually the couple are having poker face, and when my bestfriend saw us in the wedding, he have teary eye. Like wait, are you more happy to see us than your wedding itself? *LOL* Why they forced to married early, was because the girl is already pregnant and the girl's side want them to get married before she give birth. What's the sad thing is, all the decision is in the girls side while all the expenses is in the boy's side. Why I shared this one is because, I want to remind us that wedding is for lifetime and it's not a joke. If you're in a situation that you get pregnant or you make a girl pregnant, then think multiple times if you want that person to be your partner lifetime. In religious beliefs, just like Christianity, it is better to have a marriage first before having a baby. But since we have the freedom to do and choose what we want, then premarital sex became normal. According to my Psychology teacher, it is okay to do love making even you're just bf-gf, but make sure you only do it with him/her, faithful with your partner; then I was like *"wow, oh okay, it's really normal now a days".* Back about marriage, the reason why some of girls force to marry a man is because, they want their baby to have a complete family. But.. Just like what my girl bestfriend did*(the one I shared before who get pregnant)*, she chose not to marry the guy. Although they already broke up when she found out that she's pregnant, she chose not to run after the boy. The boy keeps on asking to get her back, but for her it's enough, she prefer to take care the baby with her own family. Does the baby have a broken family? Ofcourse not, he have a complete, loving and supportive family. Being with someone that you don't love makes your heart broken, worst than broken family. For parents, grandparents, uncles, aunties, and anyone there, don't force someone to marry please. It's hard and sad for the couples, make them ready, at least they will face God at the front of the altar full of love and joy. Lastly, wedding is a very important event, especially to woman. For men, if your girl is special to you then make that day special to her. I know not all women wants to have costly wedding, some just want simple, but remember: it is once in a lifetime. Make that day special to her, and she will make your life special every day. ________________________ ***Lead image was edited using*** *****PicsArt***** *** Author's love message : ***Hello lovely reader! How was your day?*** ***Prior to what I shared, I want to give my appreciation for those men who stay besides their partner, who face their obligation with love and dedication. For moms, especially single moms I salute how strong you are, you are blessed with a kid/s, and be a blessing to them.*** ***GOD Bless. Hugs.***
December 15, 2021 **-Ling**
46 comments
being forceful is never a solution, taking decisions under pressure might prove deadly
I totally agree with this. This is a burden lifetime.
I agree with you. Marriage is an important thing. But there is no such thing as coercion.And no decision should be made under pressure.
True, and the sad thing is, their parents decided for them.
Honestly when i get pregnant my mom asked me if when is our wedding as I am already pregnant. I told my mom that I'm not gonna marry my partner yet. Not because I don't love him but because I don't know him that much,yes we were already in a relationship for four years but it was all long distance. I told my mom that being a pregnant without marriage isn't a mistakes, the mistake was marrying a person who I don't really know. I just asked my mom for her support as i wanted to know my partner first before saying I do as I don't wanna make a decision which I'm gonna regretted my whole life. I always put in mind that choosing my partner is choosing my future. If i marry the wrong person then I might suffer the rest of my life and I don't want it to happen.
Salute to you Sis! I know you have a strong personality and what you did is the right thing. At least mas nakilala mo sya before you commit into a lifetime contract :)
Yes sis, actually unexpected din yung pagbubuntis ko pero hindi ko xia inisip na ganun.. inisip ko na blessings xia Kasi khit Hindi intended nabuo xia.
Yes sis that's true. We shouldn't force the partners to be married if they don't want to since it will lead into a complications at the end. For sure, they wouldn't be happy. Marriage can be form with a love and happiness. As an individual also before we do the things, first we should be careful. Always in advance what will be the possibilities if you did just a one mistake since your life will jump into a new chapter of lives. We should be responsible with our actions if you don't want a family problem.
Super tama ka Sis, ganon lang naman dapat responsible tayo. If dumating man sa punto na nangyari na, huwag na sana dagdagan yung problema, lifetime na kasi ang pinag-uusapan e.
Oo sis. Dapat walang mapipilitan dapat sariling desisyon hindi yung iba mag decide. May karapatan silang mag desisyon dahil buhay nila yan.
You're right...we shouldn't be forced to go into marriage as it's a lifetime journey so we need to take it gently and choose wisely the person we want to spend our life with.
Yes Sis, that's why we need to be careful in deciding.
Bakit kasi ganun na ngayon? Naalala ko lang sabi ni mama, "Kailangan ba talaga ipilit ang kasal kapag buntis na yung babae?" "Bakit hindi hayaan yung babae at yung partner niya na magdesisyon?" Aigoo! Marriage is not a joke. Kailan talaga pag-isipan ng mabuti. Pag ikinasal na, wala nang atrasan yun.
Sobra Sis, wala gina isip unsa ma feel sa kaslunon. Taga "oo" nalang intawon sa desisyon sa parents.
Mao lagi.. Maayo gani kay dili ing.ana ahung parents. They just let me decide, especially na kung ako jud ang maalanganin ug magkinaunsa..
*Tama sis, Dili man gud pwede e force ang marriage. Marriage is very sacred...Naa ko isa na nakaila, "arranged marriage" ang nahitabo sa iyaha. Perti hilak ni girl kay lagi Dili sya ganahan pa magpakasal pero walay choice kay fixed na ang date. Sa venue grabe ka mugto sa mata sa babae, then kay kasal naman sila, so kailangan nila mag isa sa balay. Nahibaw an na lang sa pamilya sa babae nga wala d I sya giayo pagtrato sa side sa lalaki Mao gikuha sya sa Iya family.....Mao nga dapat before ipakasal ang couple dapat ready sila ug kabalo na sila sa background sa ila isig kapamilya, Dili kay tungod sa nabuntis or unsa pa man ang rason.*
Hala uy, kasakit sa part sa babae ani. Unta ma realized sa pamilya ilang nabuhat. Intawon swerte nalang sya kay na save, unya ang iban nga naga experience ani, luoy kaayo.
*Tinuod jud sis, maayo kay kwartahan man ang pamilya ni girl Mao nadali ra nila pagkuha, UNYA katong wala Tawn, antos nalang jud, haisst kalouy jud Tawn sa mga ingon Ana oi*
You are right sis,it is all about making each ohe happy whether you are the man or the woman after all, yoir wedding day is duly regarded as your happiest day in your life
Yes Sam, and everyone of us should have the right to decide for that special one's in a life experience.
Forced marriage is very common in my region of the world. I know of a girl who ran away from home a day before her wedding. She never wanted to get married to the much older man her father chose for her.. Her father later suffered from cardigan arrest because of the embarrassment.
Yes, I know some countries do this, it's part of their traditional beliefs. But I want to ask, do you agree on this concept? I know you have also your own insights and knowledge :)
Its totally wrong you know. Its more like selling a daughter in slavery
Tama ka sis. Wag ipilit kung di pa nmn ready ksi di rin nmn magiging masaya pgtapos ng kasal. Yan nangyari sa akin non ksi buntis na ako pero yoko pa talaga non mgpakasal pero galit na galit ksi tatay ko non. Mao pgbulag namo sko ex husband wa na c tatay mgbuot kung mgpakasal ba mi or dli. Wa mn nko dalha ang apelydeo sko ex ky pg abroad nko sauna nag dlaga ko ky naa error amo marriage contract. Di nko mangarap makasal ky okay nko sko mga anak.
Mao nalang pud gani Sis kay isog pud ka nga ingnon unsa imong na feel bisgan pusganay, at least free naka karon:)
Paita lgi sa life hahaha.. Mao before mgpakasal dapat sabutan jud para way pgmahay.
Ako nga sis 13 years na kaming nagsasama pero hindi pa naikasal pangarap ko rin talagang makasal pero sana dumating yun , sa part naman sa freind mo kadalasan talaga sa side ng girl yung problema dahil talagang ipipilit nila para daw sa kahihiyan ng kanilang pamilya yun lang ang iniisip nila , sana maging okay yung pagsasama nila sis.
True Sis, yun talaga iniisip nila yung dignidad ng pamilya, hopefully maging okay nga sila kasi based sa observation namin di close both families. Don't worry Sis, on perfect time ikakasal din kayo. Much better ng si God mag decide para sa inyo:)
May mga taong ganyan bff. That's why kung ikakasal man ako gusto ko planado. And I am always depending on God's will.
Nan, ana gyud bff, always pray lang gyud ta para may guidance every decision nato.
Wedding is very important and it has layed a good impact in man and woman life . Wedding is by choice not by forced. How are you doing sis ling. 😍
You are right Rosh, every parents must know this. I'm good, I had a busy day, how about you?
There is a proverb. Look before you leap. It’s a casual warning about daily life. But when you talk about wedding, it’s all about caring & taking responsibilities of another one. Ask yourself, are you ready?
I'm not yet ready about this:D I must have regular job, helped my parents, achieved my goals and dreams, and ofcourse to give an exchange to God's blessings.
That means I have a chance. Best wishes for me. Looking for future. Can I have the dreams? ❤️
Your article notified me , then as I've read the title really caught my eye's attention. While reading sorry it makes me laugh about what had happen and later on I realized that you are I agree that wedding is too much important. 🥰
It's also funny on the other side Sis haha. Yung nakikita mo itsura nila na excuse me kasal nyo po, genuine smile for picture taking please:D
Hahaha okay lang yan sis
Oh, marriage is not a joke and anyone should not get married if not yet ready. Hope you boy friend marriage will work somehow.
Hopefully, I get happy and sad at the same time for him. But prayer is powerful, so that's the thing that I can do for them.
Brrrr, the decision is up to the girl and the guy gives her expenses...forgive me of course, but the fact that is already living in the belly doesn't count? Or only the mother should be responsible? I mean, both parenting and financial responsibility? Now let them get married and forget about their feelings. You should have thought and protected yourself before. There's no "guilty" or "right" in this story. There is already life living in the middle of the belly!!! In our country, such marriages are called "marriage of convenience." And you can always get a divorce.
I felt sad while reading this Sis, now I realized that this is more hard for the baby when he/she grow up.
It's very hard to read, still perceive. But such cases are not isolated. Pity... I pity the child... not the "stupid" parents. Maybe you thought my comment was harsh, I'm sorry. But that is my attitude toward what I've read above, and I can't think otherwise.
with wedding comes really a great responsibility, and it should always be with the consent of both the parties not in any pressure.
You're right. This is what must be happened when we talk about wedding
dapat both parties agreed, sis