Children Beginning School and the Adaptation Process
Children, like adults, have a process of adapting to new environments and situations encountered for the first time. The length of this process depends on the child's social intelligence, temperament (desire for independence and freedom), sense of trust (caregiver and therefore himself), level of adjustment. Some children tend to be more extroverted and more social, while others prioritize recognizing and examining their environment first.
Some children worry about separation from their parents. This anxiety is usually due to the distrust experienced against the caregiver (mother, father, grandmother, nanny, etc.). The child who thinks that he will be abandoned by the caregiver, of course, is worried when entering an environment where he will be alone. Therefore, it is very important to establish a trusting relationship with the child. One of the biggest mistakes parents make is to leave the environment without seeing the child to avoid crying.
However, the important thing is not that the child does not cry, but that he understands the situation and is comfortable. Babies who have not been able to trust their parents enough and have not been able to fully separate are likely to cry. Therefore, children may need to use a transitional object during the decomposition process. Such objects should not be forcibly taken from the child, they should not be washed, and if possible, they should be brought to school with them. Parents should respond to the child's needs as quickly as possible in order to instill confidence in the child. If the child's physical or mental needs are not immediately met, the child may feel unworthy and unworthy of attention. This thought, which is placed in the child's unconscious, affects his adult life and relationships with people. For example, if what the child needs is breast feeding or formula, the caregiver should analyze this need correctly and respond as quickly as possible after the baby starts to cry. The child, who trusts his parents enough, can also trust in different environments. It is normal to be worried at first, but the trust that he will establish with his teachers over time, finding his mother or father at home in the evening and understanding that he has not been abandoned will make the situation easier.
For older children, the situation is not much different. Children in the 3-6 age group are separated from their parents and begin to see themselves as separate individuals from the caregiver. However, children whose sense of trust is not well developed may react such as crying and being silent in the first days of school. The important thing here is that the family behaves consistently and confidently. The constant use of phrases such as "Our child always cries when he goes to school", "He can't get used to it", "What are we going to do now!", "We're starting again" next to the child causes more anxiety in the child.
The child conditioned by these sentences starts to cry even if he is not going to cry. The reason for this is that she understands her parents' anxiety and wants to give an appropriate response to this anxiety. This will make the job more difficult and start to attract more attention. Here, it is very important how determined the family is and how consistent it is with their child. It is wrong to think that everything that worries us in our adult life will manifest in the same way in children. While the child is not worried, the undecided and anxious attitude of the family also changes the child's feelings. That's why you need to analyze well whether your child is at a level to start kindergarten. If necessary, it would be appropriate to seek help from an expert in this regard. Children should not be sent to kindergarten until they are at least two years old, unless you absolutely have to. In order to give to kindergarten, the child should be expected to enter the process of separation from the caregiver. It is possible to see that a child who has lived and completed this process safely can adapt to kindergarten more quickly and be happier.
I saw some kids crying and cannot handle school when their parents left them at school. Most especially when it is the first day of the class.