I feel jealous with those Flowers standing in the garden living on it's own. It neither bothers about the future nor about the past. It just stands there challenging the time ," Try me , I will remain still in present". Sometimes it dares with wind ," How you come, I won't move rather I will enjoy you". It just moves with the current of breeze to the right sometimes to the left. In each movement s it reflects the structure of energy packets of winds as mirrors reflects HOW WE ARE?.

Whenever the breeze tries to mend it without resistance it flows with the breeze and gives away it's aroma. That breezes which had came making a long way to have brawl with it without indulgent it goes away carrying the scent of the flower. The breeze which is carrying the scent spreads the fragrance of the flower.

The best part of the flowers is that it remains in presents rather than past and futures. Whatever it does all associated deeds are in present.

But when I see myself , always I am there standing bewildered with the question, "WHO AM I? WHAT AM I DOING HERE?"

Birth and death

The only mere way that now I exist at this slice of time started with my birth. And everyone's birth is a part of mystery. We don't have any control over our birth. We are brought here and left out to live out.And also if we see our death i.e. saying bye bye process to this world, it too is also not in our hand. Here death is uncertain, we can die at any moment at any time.My death is not in my hand. My birth was too not in my hand.

How can I assure that this life which I have been living thinking that I am master of it and I have been controlling it, is also under my control. Since, life and death are not in my control that clearly reflects, our life is also not in our hand.

If this is so, then ," WHO AM I? WHAT I AM DOING HERE?"

Time

Everything happens here in its time. Nothing's are free to go faster or slower than time. Tress gives fruits on their own time. Everything are bound to be under the time. Season here are caused by the revolution of earth around the sun which too works on the fixed time frame. Different season comes with it's distinct characteristics in certain interval of time.

Everything happens being bound to time.

In such a milieu , HOW CAN I TAKE MYSELF AS FREE MAN? I AM ALSO BOUNDED TO TIME. NOTHING HAPPENS WITH MY EFFORT HERE, EVERYTHING HAPPENS HERE IN ITS OWN TIME.

This is why I feel ," Who am I? What am I doing here?"

Astrology

I believe in astrology. From the perspective of astrology, we can conclude that whatever happens here happens only with the influence of planets. Positions of planets that makes some combinations, certain positions on our birth charts governs our activity, our deeds , our behaviour, even a subtle wave of thoughts.

Whenever I think of astrology again my mind questions,

"If I can't control even a single action of mine, how I will behave?, What will happen with me on next second? . Then I am not wrong to ask," WHO IS LIVING THROUGH ME? WHO AM I? WHY AM I HERE?"

Thoughts

Have you had seen your thoughts? How it flows? What guides our thoughts?

If we see deeply, for sometimes let's say for 4-5 sec we can think whatever we want but after that everything becomes automatic. Different types of trains of thoughts passes away within a second of time. And we don't have control over it.

Every thoughts are not in my hand, obviously , as always I am there standing with a question,"

WHO AM I? WHAT AM I DOING HERE?

Conclusion

Nothing here happens on my will, everything happens here on it's own. My efforts to make changes in this flow will become futile. Everything here goes on and on. This nature , these processes of birth and death, even my deeds. Nothing's is under my control.I will act involuntarily.

Some people claims this as ," SINCE WE HAVE ENTERED TO THE CYCLE EVERYTHING HERE GOES ON UTS OWN.".

It's like some has turned on the system and had fled away with the switch. We just act within a system that is going on. Our actions , our thoughts, our behaviours everything are the call of the system.

If I am not wrong, if everything is true as I said, it will be relevant to ask a question , isn't it?

So whenever I see those Flowers they laughs on me. Sometime, I follow them with my smile, sometimes I just ignore them but to be honest I am really jealous with them.

Flowers vs me

Those Flowers don't have past and future they just live in flow. But I have my last , my future , my goals, aspirations , wants , desires . That makes me to live on switching from past to future and also from future to past. I don't have time in present. This is what make me different from those Flowers.

Those Flowers doesn't resist the flows that is going on . But I do, sometimes I want things to happen faster than it's time, some time hope time gets stretched. Sometimes I just sit there to ponder about something by controlling my thoughts,, sometimes I just wanna control every actions of mine to be a good man. What I try? They are the constraints that I impose to the flow. So that creates problems.

Those Flowers comes with thorn , flower + thrones both opposite poles makes it complete within. Where I lack this quality. I am not complete. This society made me to only adopt a positive side of life but never gave a way to accept negative. This is why I am not a complete one. There always remains a vacant place for my complementary part.

So, this is why I am always being jealous with that flowers.

Thank you....