I am stronger than I ever thought I would be. Stronger than most people thought I could be. It's true what they say, you don't know how strong you can become when you don't have a choice. But what no one warned me about was the price my freedom was going to cost me. The strength I needed to break free, and to stay away was a price almost more than I could pay. I fought like hell to break free. I earned my freedom. Sometimes I think the price I paid to leave was too high. I pay everyday since I left you. I know I am suppose to say leaving was the best thing I ever did but it's hard to say that when leaving cost me so much. If the system worked like it was suppose to, then maybe I wouldn't have lost everything. But the post separation abuse really was devastating in a way I can't really express . I lost a part of myself. The way I viewed the world was forever changed. I now know that there's not always justice. Good doesn't always win. It doesn't matter how hard you try sometimes your best still isn't good enough. Some fights are not fair and you don't stand a chance. I lost my home, my credit and my ability to provide for myself and our children. The financial abuse has been crippling. Post separation abuse is hell on earth. Be prepared to face a battle you won't win easily if at all.

And know that you're going to pay a high price for any wins you pick up along the way. This is a hard truth to hear but it is better to be prepared than to be blindsided. Because if you're in the relationship and it's bad enough that you're thinking of leaving than you need to be prepared. You're strong. You've made it this far you can do it even if it's hard.There are a lot of reasons why women/men don't leave and usually it's because they can't. They can't leave because they they have no place to go. They have no money or no access to money. Another reason is Fear. They are afraid of what will happen. They are worried about the safety of their kids. They're scared to break up their family. There are multiple reasons, never just one. A victim will leave when the fear of staying becomes greater than the fear of leaving. I left when it became too dangerous to stay.

I knew if I stayed he was going to kill me. I wanted to live. So I had to at least try to get away. You are NEVER responsible for someone else's actions. You are not responsible for someone abusing you. I don't care what you did to make them mad. No one has a right to put their hands on you in anger or hurt you deliberately. The flip side of that is you are also ALWAYS responsible for your own actions. You also don't have the right to hit someone or be abusive either. Now before anyone gets too upset and starts feeling awful, there is something called reactive ab.What Is Reactive Abuse? A person being abused can sometimes lash out at their attacker during an act of violent assault. In response to the assault, they could yell, cry, insult the attacker, or even try to protect themselves physically. As a form of retaliation, an aggressor may accuse the victim of being the one who is abusing them to hurt them further.!

It is importance to be mindful of reacting in this way. I know I was pushed to reacting this way at times in my marriage. I quickly learned that when I did this he would use it against me. Which I didn't want. I didn't want him to change me into someone I wasn't. I didn't want to stoop to his level. I wanted to stay true to who I was, to my values. Remember we are all responsible for our own actions. You are not responsible for their abuse.

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