I am scared of what tomorrow holds, scared of what may befall me. I have lost that strength, the energy I always feel at the sight of terror. Fear wasn't my thing but now I embrace it like a friend. I am not ashamed to admit, my guts have failed me. Sacred of my own death.
What if this be my last, can't I live without having to go through the blade, the thought of it is killing me already, no one understands, they keep telling me you will be fine, yes, I believe them but what if everything doesn't get better. What if the worst happens? Doctors already prepared the theatre, they usher me in as if am going for sightseeing, everyone is optimistic.
Sorry, I am bothering you with my plague, I got to let it out. The weight is too much for me to bear, from the day I received my result till date life has been drifting away from me, not that it's my desire, no it can never be but it's my reality.
Life can be so unfair, inflicting a teenager with the sickness of the old. This is my darkest secret, I am letting you in on. Should this be my last, know that I love you and I am happy to have you. To every journey, I may undertake be it to the beyond or beneath, you are always at my bosom.
Consider this my last wish should I be no more, tell the world I loved her, tell my mother I wish I can stay more with her, tell my friends my soul will always be with them when my fresh is buried. Oh! How I enjoy living. Death is inevitable.
The pain will soon go away, my worries will end, the fear will leave me, no more sympathisers telling me sorry, it will be me alone in my own world when I die. This is not my consolation, I want to fight and live, the world needs me, my family everyone wants me around and I want to be around too but then if I can't make it, then this should be my consolation.
This is just me imaging what people who under go life threatening surgeries may be thinking before the surgery.
Good work!