WAW!!! Where do I begin?
Some folks will say at the beginning please…
But if you only knew.
I have already had many beginnings, new beginnings, caught up in the same shit different day beginnings, the I can do better beginnings, the I want my body to be a bit toner beginning, the I’m gonna live for me beginnings….
Trust me sis… Bruh… I have had it all…
The one beginning I deliberately didn’t mention was the, ‘ I got to start saying NO!’ beginning. You ever had one of those, when you begin and forget what you were beginning after bouncing up a couple good looking distractions, yeah, I see you.
But no need to cover your face cause girl…. I been there too. If it wasn’t for new beginnings, hey you! I don’t know where I’ll be. Probably at the beginning of the beginning? I guess We’ll never know.
Alright I dragged you along long enough, with the beginning, let me get straight into it.
You ever had one of those double looks twice, which makes it a four-count glance back, moment? You know what I’m talking about like you seen a ghost or got a glimpse of paradise. Umhmm that’s the look I’m talking about. And right there, in that moment, you imagine the different places you can be or things you can do if you really had a chance to capitalize on ‘that moment’. Uhm,oh-uh, uhm, I didn’t mean to take you there but, that was me the first time I saw him. Omarion looking, Bow-Wow finished, those cornrows on fleek, R-Kelly sleek, Usher lips looking fine, walked passed me in the streets. My first thoughts? I got to get him.
Now before you judge me, sis was in her prime ‘Trouble Teen’ years and running out of options for these hormones to get loose.
Now that I got that out the way….
He had the look I fantasized about in my younger years (you going to hear about that later), after watching those music videos on BET. I can almost hear my thoughts saying; I want my future husband to look like this be like this and ‘OOOOH WEEE’ did you see that move Usher just bust down on her, why that couldn’t be me? Huh!
Get where I’m coming from yet?
I’m sorry if I lost you just tryna find my way to the, um…
BEGINNING!?! Yes, uh, the NEW one.
Yes, I did mention something about a young girl fantasizing about what she wants her husband to be like. Before you judge the status of human development tralala, I want you to notice she did say ‘HUSBAND’ which shows she does have some standards. But what would happen if her fantasy is no longer just on television?
I admired his walk; his smile and I can’t forget that laugh y’all already know I was drooling over the other features we won’t get into that ha!
Man, he was something out of a magazine I tell yuh, even if it was just in my eyes. I just couldn’t stop looking and he was beginning to notice.
Ah man, don’t judge me on this one I remember timing when he usually walks pass so I'll be on time to watch him walk by everyday, like clockwork ha, y'all don’t judge me those hormones wasn’t easy, I tell you! But eventually it all paid off.
NAHIL SINE LABORE- Nothing without hard work!
School motto didn’t let me down. Making a long story short we did eventually get to talking. I loved the little attention I was getting; little did I know it was vice versa but all on the down low.
Shush! Nobody can know …
Before you knew it,
Where to meet you? What you doing after school? Became the basis of our usual conversations.
Even though I tried not to be exposed. It was,
Why you does come here in all them clothes?
It hurting… Yuh like it… Yuh rel tight girl…
Why you acting so stush?
Wait! You is/still ah virgin!?!
Hmm, Yeah we reached there, even though I wasn’t trying to get this close…
It was just a crush, I thought all we were gonna do was just talk.
How funny, what you feel this is Tom and Jerry? HEHE!
Now don’t let me have to spell this out fuh yuh, this is my pus*,
See this has to mean he’s gonna marry me? I mean after all he did take my virginity…. Isn’t that what people do when they get married? Aren’t we married? Do you love me? Does he love me? Whats the status of our relationship? Am I too young for you?
Lord, Jesus, are you there? Help me to make sense of this? Why he keeps calling me, wanting this?
Hey, what is your favorite col… Wam I coming to check yuh now.
Hey, what kind of mus… yeah come and check meh dey, yuh hear meh…
Hey! Yeah, okay…
Lord I don’t like this please help me to stop, help me to say no, how do I say no?
Hey, lover I’m outside …… I’m not coming
What you mean you not coming? Who you telling you not coming?
You better before I come and bang down that door.
No… wait, I’m outside.
Where ah not seeing yuh?
Lord, im sorry please I don’t want this please help me to say no!
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