When Helping Hurts!
There are many instances in life that our giving would be challenged by other people's need. But when does it happen when instead of helping others, we are actually hurting them instead?
Helping hurts when..
You are teaching the person to rely on you than encouraging him/her to stand on his/her own.
It hurts them more when you take their responsibilities away from them. Many of us Filipinos do this with our families. An example of this is paying for your brother's college tuition when you know he could find himself a job or a scholarship so he can afford going to school but he refuses to do so and chooses to use your money for parties after school too.
This is an example of when helping hurts for in the long run you are teaching this person to rely on you and not stand on his own. I am not saying to never help him especially when you have the capacity to do so however all I am saying is to teach him how to be independent for in the real world he will have to face it not with you but by himself.
Helping hurts when....
When you replace God on His responsibility as a PROVIDER.
Many times we want to be the hero, the hero that would save the day and relieve everyone from their stresses. There is nothing wrong with that for I believe in helping others when they need help. However, when you replace God's responsibilities by always providing for your families and friends even when you know that you will always be there first choice when they need something, then there should be a change.
Instead of always giving in to their need, why not ask God if He has another way in meeting their needs? Again, I am not trying to hinder people from giving, all I trying to say is maybe God is teaching them an important lesson during the time that they need something. Maybe He is teaching them to have more faith on Him on the things they desire OR to learn how to save so they dont end up always borrowing from you OR how to spend their money well so they wont need to rely on you everytime they need something.
If you always give in to everyone's need, make sure you did not become their GOD. Their ultimate provider should be Him. Do not take away the possible lifelong lessons that God may have been teaching them by being their first choice provider.
Helping hurts when...
It hurts when you leave a string attached when you help.
We, Filipinos are so guilty with this. We even have a saying for this 'Utang na Loob'. It's like a debt that you can never repay. When we help, we shouldn't think of that person as our investment and that one day she/he will help us in some way.
Parents also do this to their children. The parents send their kids to school and when the child graduates and find a job, they become a retirement fund for them. Children become their piggy banks. The children become oblige to repay the parents out of 'Utang na Loob' and not out from a generous heart anymore.
These are just some examples of when helping hurts more than really helping. It is always a challenge for the giver to know when to give and when to hold. If you are a generous person, give! But always give out of love and sincere heart, not of pressure or emotional manipulation.
Always give to help and not to hurt.
Thank you for reading❤️
