what are we supposed to do now?

Hi, I find the world too dark, the defeaning silence roars and it makes my heart beat faster every minute.

Yesterday was supposed to be a normal day. Started the day early, energized, a little bit lazy but determined to be more productive than the past days. Class schedule says we have our midterm exam for our midyear classes in out of my subjects. I didn’t actually prepare for it, in fact, while waiting for the exam link, I was cleaning. My plan was to rearrange the tables in my room, in which I was hoping would bring some change in my life but little did I know, in just a minute, chaos jumped into place.

I immediately felt the earthquake and I quickly ran out of the house while calling my mom, I found her outside, preparing the laundry. I thought my little sister was playing outside but when I looked back inside, she’s in there.

I heard her voice, frightened and keeps on saying ‘why are we shaking?.’ The moment I stepped in our living room, the earthquake thrived. Our house is tiny, but everything happened in just a snap. The aquarium fell down, same as the vases, bottles, frames, and the mirror. I even heard our house moving. I just wanted to get to her. She’s standing right there and not moving at all.

I was buried in fear. The thought of losing another sister enveloped me. When were inside, I thought we couldn’t get out anymore. My sister was crying loudly, my mom’s panicking, hysterical.

When we got out, I could barely catch my breath. I was hoping to wake up. I was hoping that it was all a dream. Adrenaline was in my system because I couldn’t feel any pain but when I looked at my body, my right leg is covered with blood. But that wasn’t my first concern. I looked for our phones and called my papa hoping he’s okay. He came home immediately and we went to the hospital.

The handkerchief that I used in putting pressure is no longer identifiable, it was all red. My head became light, then I couldn’t see anything.

They gave me oxygen, injected me, gave me stitches. It was my first time. I wish I was braver to look at how they do sutures in real life because I am big fan of the medical drama Grey’s Anatomy but I just covered my eyes with my mom’s jacket that I was able to grab before leaving the house. I guess the anesthesia didn’t kick in at all because I felt everything. They just kept saying it’s the last one but it wasn’t.

I was supposed to stay for a little while but I told my papa and tito who was on duty at the hospital that if possible, I want to go home. All patients are outside, the sirens of ambulance calling for emergency, the people rushing here and there — it all made me more and more anxious.

I hardly went inside our house because I kept picturing what happened. Aftershocks are strong. I know everyone was traumatized. Magnitude 7 earthquake isn’t a joke. Browsing on social media to read news is saddening. The havoc is real. I was only watching it in movies and series before but now it happened right in front of me.

Today is 28th, my little sister is sleeping. She looks well but she’s traumatized too.

It’s getting colder and my wound’s hurting a little more. I can’t move too much, I got bruises on my body as well. It’s still hard to get up and walk. Everything around me is going back to normal.

I’m having so many thoughts. I’m actually thinking of grabbing my anxiety meds to help me calm my mind but I chose to write here instead. I reached out to my closest friends but I find it selfish of me to add up my story. I know everyone wasn’t able to sleep last night. We’re all restless, frightened.

It’s still hard to accept. Many people are suffering. The nature’s wrath is real. Can it be controlled? Can we do something about it? Are there worse things that will happen? I wish I had Five’s powers from The Umbrella Academy so I could travel through time and interfere with the timeline in order to make a change.

So, what are we supposed to do now?

credits to the local who originally took the photo.

Stay safe always!