a little rain, a pour of hope

July 29, 2020

Sitting here, beside my box of yarns. I crocheted something funny. My coffee has ran out. I can’t relax my right leg and it’s hurting. Rain is pouring outside. I would definitely be grateful for the rain but I thought of the people

15:19

I stopped reading, I started wondering what to do next. Going to the cr is a big challenge for me. I have so many plans but I can’t reach all the things I need. But anyways, I started to make my first ever baby tulip. It’s color peach and I hope I can reach my expectations.

15:22

Another aftershock. My heart is pumping but I tried to stay calm so that my sister won’t notice. She’s too young to be traumatized like this.

God, please put an end to this series of aftershocks.

21:41

Another one. It was long. I’m so tired of this feeling.

July 30, 2022

23:25

I’m quite successful of being productive today. I’ve accomplished some. Disappointment should’ve been one of my poisons for this day but I choose not to dwell on other ounces of negativity.

I just realized something. I don’t know how to relax my right leg. I hope I’m not doing anything that worsens my situation. I don’t know if I’m getting better but I could already laugh at what happened. Yep, things happen, and I think I’ve already accepted that there are always instances that are harder for me than everybody else.

We’re ending this month soon and I am really hoping for a better August. July has been a train of mishaps. It’s quite hard to move on — I just hope this isn’t another loophole that I have to get stuck in.

Today’s payday sale in Shopee and I gladly made three orders. They said, pay yourself first and so I did. Deep in my heart, I am happy with how I’m dealing everything all at once. I’m too far better than who I was a year ago. I’m proud that I could recognize my own progress. Sometimes, I wonder because if these things happened last year, I would’ve blamed myself every second.

I always tell myself this important words: If you can change the situation, change your perspective.

It helped me survive. It taught me how to live. It’s unfair that we’ve got too many questions unanswered and unexplained and the more we seek, the more we get confused. But we’ve got to carry on with life’s unending trail of mysteries.

I slept a while back so I’m still full of energy at the moment. I’m just gonna edit some photos, look for a new book to read, publish, and maybe finish the first season of Dark.

I ate egg cheese sandwich for my midnight snack. It’s good, my mom made it. I actually want more but I can’t get up already.

It has been a great day, nonetheless.