Trust and communication in a relationship

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2 years ago

Howdy folks, how are you all doing today? Do you know what's coming in less than 3 days from now? Yep, it's Christmas! 🥳 Are you excited about it? I like to think I am (or I try to tell myself that).

I am still waiting for BCH to rise so I can sell some of mine and do some last-minute Christmas shopping. Right now the price has risen a bit and it's around $443, let's see how it will be tomorrow and I am just going to sell some no matter what the price is.

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Jumping to conclusion

I was a bit bored today so I was scrolling through nairaland.com hoping to catch a juicy post and then I saw one about a man that almost destroyed his marriage with his own hands (read the full gist here)

According to him, he suspected his wife was cheating on him because a certain number was always calling her at night. He even heard her saying one day; "you know I am a married woman" but he didn't ask her about it coz according to him, he doesn't like confrontations

He decided he needs more evidence before he confronts her, so what did he do? He met with some tech gurus on how to go about recording his wife's phone calls. At last, he bought the same phone as her and one day, he pretended he had mistakenly taken her phone and went to work with it.

He took the phone to the techies and they installed something in it to help record the wife calls and after listening to the recordings, he realized the person the wife has been speaking with at night is her customer who's helping his fiancee to clear her debt, and he is paying it in installments.

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Would you say he did the right thing by bugging his wife's phone? It's smart, but it's definitely not the right thing. He could have just asked her about it but he didn't follow that route and just decides to find out on his own, doesn't it show he doesn't trust his wife?

But on the flip side, if the wife was truly cheating and he asked her about it, she will probably say the person she's always talking to is her customer. I mean, you wouldn't expect her to say she's cheating now, would you?

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When I said the man played it smart, what I meant was that he didn't suddenly start accusing the woman of cheating (which is something some people do in that situation), he decided to gather enough evidence first just to be certain.

A lot of marriages have been broken because of things like this, and even the ones that aren't broken won't ever be the same as before after such confrontation because it will show that there's no trust in the marriage.

Communication is very important to strengthen bonds in any relationship and I fully realized it today. I had to call my uncle today who I haven't spoken with for a very long time and the first thing he said when he realized who was calling was; "you have stopped calling me, don't you know communication is important?".

I fully agreed with him after the call ended and I realized I actually missed talking to him. Lack of communication can make the mind assume a lot of things that may or may not be true, pair that up with mistrust and it will be the perfect combo to destroy any relationship.

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It's very easy to jump to conclusions when we don't talk about the things that are bothering us, just like the man in the above story that assumed his wife is cheating just because of her unusual night calls.

It's very important to communicate frequently because it's the best way to build trust. We can learn a thing or two from a person during communication, even when we don't specifically ask about that thing.

Thanks for reading 💖💖💖

Wednesday December 22, 2021

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Avatar for Kushyzee
2 years ago

Comments

I'm very happy that the result was positive. She didn't cheat him. And communication is the most important thing in any relationship.

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2 years ago

I am glad the result was postive as well and that she was cheating on him

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2 years ago

The man took a smart move I must say and thank God the finding was a positive one, if it had turned to be something else, omo! Sincerely, frequent communication cut off assumption and assumption lead to frustratetion

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2 years ago

If it had turned out negative, then it's also a good thing since he will be able to expose her completely

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2 years ago

This is why communication is important in relationships and if we can't talk to our partner of issues bothering us, we may not be at peace and can eventually bring misunderstanding between them.

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2 years ago

It's easy to jump to conclusion and assume things when communication isn't frequent in a relationship

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2 years ago

yeah communication is so very deeply needed in any relationship and with communication is build the trust

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2 years ago

It's very important to keep a relationship together

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2 years ago

Trusting his wife Is one thing but trusting another man to be a gentleman is on a whole big level. And there's no way in hell imma trust another man with my wife. Hell No!

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2 years ago

Hah! When I suspect my girl I'll try and find out immediately o, because there are two there not to trust;she and whoever the other guy is, it'll probably be with another woman may be, because I don't understand ladies these days. So I might be a bit patient with my girl but guy Know guy. And there's no way in hell I'm trusting another man when it comes to my woman.

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2 years ago

Lol, you're definitely right. With what is happening these days, I wouldn't blame the man for suspecting his wife of cheating coz sometimes that's usually the case

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2 years ago

For me, though he took his wife phone without her permission, I still believe he did the right thing rather than accusing her without evidence. The wife on the other hand is at fault for answering calls at night without telling the husband who's at the other end of the call, anyone can be suspicious especially when she said that she's married, that would first click into the man head that she's not talking to her relatives or Female friends.

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2 years ago

Exactly o, I wouldn't blame the man sha coz anyone in that situation would've thought the same thing, but luckily the a man was smart enough to gather evidence first before confronting the wife

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2 years ago

I sort of liked his approach in a little way, that matter pointing accusing finger is dangerous although if his wife did not find out about the hack on the phone everything will go just fine.. generally communication and understanding matters in a relationship or union. This wouldn’t be the first and last time he’d hack it, when a trust is broken it’s broken brother..

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2 years ago

I also liked the way he handled it without throwing suspicions to his wife which could have seriously affected the marriage, but he was lucky the wife didn't find out about the hacked phone

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2 years ago

I think the husband didn't make a right thing. I think it's too much. An over suspicious. He must trust his wife. He must confront his wife about that thing. About the phone is too much already.

The reasons we must trust our partner. Don't make them feel you have a trust issues to them. It must be the start that will ruin your relationship. If it is really obvious then it's time to make a way on it.

Yes Kushyzee, the communication is really important. It's the bridge that you still connected to each other. It will help to stay strong with each other especially to the long distance relationship.

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2 years ago

The man didn't take the right approach and that's probably because he doesn't trust the wife to tell him the truth, but at least he was able to find out the answer without any confrontation

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2 years ago

Without trust and communication there can be no good relationship.It's An important thing in a relationship. If you want to be in a healthy relationship then you must maintain these things.

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2 years ago

Relationship isn't so difficult to maintain when these things are present

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2 years ago

Yeah it's better having a communication with your partner to have a trust between both of you so that your relationship works good

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2 years ago

It's a proven way to make sure the relationship lasts longer

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2 years ago

It's a proven and effective method to keep a healthy relationship. Base on my experience since I've been in a relationship for seven months already TRUST and COMMUNICATION really work. We've been using these two crucial ingredients in our relationship since day one. Practice makes perfect, indeed.

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User's avatar Sel
2 years ago

Very good approach Sel, we shouldn't overlook the importance of communication in any relationship

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2 years ago

Waiting impatiently for this hoping to rise to the moon

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2 years ago

Yeah I am waiting for it as well

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2 years ago

Communication is a very important part of any good relationship. And it is good the man didn't just jump to conclusions and accused his wife of cheating. But instead of going through the stress of bugging/cloning her phone, could he not just have asked her what it is about? Or he doesn't trust her enough to believe she will be honest about her answer?

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2 years ago

That's what I am thinking as well, he just doesn't trust her enough to believe she will give an honest answer

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2 years ago

Absolutely, that's what couples need.. But I don't have one jeezzz hahaha. Without communication, I guess probably the cheaters rate will grow.

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2 years ago

Yeah that's right, people will just keep on cheating

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2 years ago

I agree with you there Kush, open communication is a must in a relationship. It solves headaches and makes the bond closer. The man in your story was smart indeed that he didn't confront his wife because of suspicion. Well at least he did what he thought was right and he was proven wrong :)

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2 years ago

That's the important thing, he successfully avoided confrontation while at the same time clearing his doubts, but it would have been another story if the wife found out what he did

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2 years ago

It would be disaster if his wife finds out😂

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2 years ago

It would be disaster if his wife finds out😂

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2 years ago