The COMedy Rumble: The alcohol disaster

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Avatar for Kushyzee
2 years ago
Topics: Comedy, Alcohol

The article was my entry for this month's comedy rumble challenge hosted by the comedy open mic community on hive. I published it some weeks back and I decided to also share it on readcash as well. Link to original article

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A birthday celebration

It was my roommate's birthday and he decided to have a small party in our lodge to celebrate it. I followed him to buy drinks and some snacks needed for the party. He wanted to buy some mild alcoholic drinks but I advised him to get some of the stronger stuff too.

He told me that the people attending the party won't be able to take some of those liquors but I bragged to him that it's nothing I can't handle, I have been sneakily drinking my dad's alcoholic collection for many years and I can hold my liquor better than most adults, I have never even gotten drunk before!

We got two bottles of the strong stuff and only one was consumed during the party, leaving us with one full bottle of McDowell whiskey. "This is nothing, we can finish the whole thing later at night", I said to my friend. Night arrived and I was in bed playing with my phone, while my roommate was sitting beside me and filling my cup with whiskey.

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"I told you I can handle it, this is a piece of cake! I have taken stronger liquor than this in the past and I didn't even get drunk, keep going!", I bragged, and he kept pouring, and pouring, and pouring....until my bladder got full and I decided to ease myself. I sat up and it felt like I had a building on my head. I looked at my roommate lying on his bed and he looked like he was swinging, and there were 3 of him, and also 3 beds 😂

"Anything wrong?", He asked and I replied; "of course not, I just want to ease myself". "Then go, go on and ease yourself", he said to me and I just laughed it off but deep inside I knew I was in a deep mess. How could this happen to me? I kept asking myself as I tried getting down from the bed, meanwhile the floor was looking like it was 100ft down and that just added to my dilemma because I am very scared of heights.

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I summed up courage and got down from the bed, I planned on quickly rushing to the bathroom, emptying my bladder, and running back to bed before my roommate notice anything but there was one problem with that plan; I couldn't even move! I was standing and kept moving back and forth like a one-leg drunk pirate 😂 my roommate was already laughing at this point and I knew I have been exposed.

I just ignored the spinning room and something that looked like a unicorn right in my room and headed for the bathroom but I was almost at the door when I fell down face first. My roommate went out to call my crazy friends living in the same lodge and I could hear them laughing and making videos as I was on the floor wriggling like a big worm.

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I was just there with a heavy head and what I kept repeating over and over again was; "God please let me live, I promise to never do it again" 😂 I actually thought I was going to die because of the way I was feeling. Did I forget to mention I threw up several times? I threw up so bad that I thought my soul was going to be pulled out as well.

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I woke up the next day and the first thing I said was "thank God I am alive". I observed I was in my room and that made me realize I am still alive, at least I am sure heaven doesn't look like my room (maybe hell, but not heaven 😂).

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I was feeling better that morning except for the pounding headache I was having and trust me when I say I prefer having that splitting headache to the hell I passed through the previous night.

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My friends came around later on and they kept laughing about the whole thing. They showed me videos of me wriggling on the floor and begging God to spare my life, it was very embarrassing to watch and I wished the ground will just open up and swallow every one of us. They kept teasing me about how I was bragging that I can't get drunk, well I have learned my lesson and won't dare challenge alcohol again.

These days whenever someone offers me alcohol, I quickly imagine myself lying on the floor, begging God to save me again and promising never to take alcohol (again!). I rather just take soft drinks and stay sane, instead of going crazy and losing consciousness because of alcohol 😆

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Thanks for reading 💖💖💖

Monday July 18, 2022

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2 years ago
Topics: Comedy, Alcohol

Comments

Hay amigo eso es lo que llamamos un tremendo ratón o resaca, yo trato de no tomar mucho cuando veo que ya me estoy mareando paro, una vez en mi cumpleaño agarre una feisima, Gracias a Dios tenia a mi madre cerca. Tuve todo el día pura sopa.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

He dejado de tomar alcohol por completo debido a esa experiencia. estaba acostado mientras bebía y no supe cuando comencé a estar borracho

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2 years ago

Hehe😁. That's what they call a hangover. It happened to me during my University days😅😅. I vomited on my bed and some boys packed it for me, poured water on my body, and threw me on the bed. My roommate was so angry that she didn't even mind what I was doing.

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2 years ago

🤣 those boys really tried for you, my friends just left me at the doorway of my bathroom and I passed the night there 😂

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2 years ago

I was laughing while imagining how you looked like! Oh my gosh HAHAHAHAHAHAAH you bragged at first and ended up getting a head bang of hangover! You must have felt embarrassed!

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2 years ago

Till today I still feel embarrassed when I remember that experience 😂 I am just glad it was a long time ago and all my friends have forgotten about it

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2 years ago

Choke 🤣🤣. I've never gotten drunk before so I don't know how my performance will be🤣. I've been laughed at and intimidated several times for taking soft drinks when we go out, especially when the ladies in our midst are taking strong wine. I'm not a fan of alcohol

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2 years ago

Guy, these days I rather get laughed at for taking soft drinks than to end up disgracing myself after getting drunk. Las las they will still laugh at me when such happens and they will even make video, that one is worse abeg 😆

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2 years ago

Haha. Drunk people are really funny... Just don't do that again next time 🤣

$ 0.02
2 years ago

I definitely have learnt my lesson 😆

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2 years ago