2010 since papa left us, he left the house because he and mama could no longer get along, I was in high school that year as well as my siblings.

Some nights I cry, I'm not used to not having a dad, no support from him, I blame myself, I think, it wouldn't have happened if they hadn't had children, they would not have quarreled over money if they had not had a child. I neglected my school, I became weak but I did not rebel, I was just sad and very affected because I have many friends with broken families, I never thought that would happen to me either.

I haven't seen mama cry even once, I see in her the effort to revive us, her childrens, whatever job it is my mama entered it, she will do everything even if she is very tired, knocking on neighbors to offer laundry in the morning and at night she ironing our neighbor's clothes, she look very tired and i cried again, I couldn't do anything.

Irealized, I need to study hard, I need to see the smile in her eyes, I need to make her happy, I can't be weak because I can see that my mama is doing all and stay strong for us, I see that she can handle everything so I should be able do that too, i should be strong for her, for my siblings, I worked hard to study, until I graduate to senior high school, I was happy because I had a voucher for senior high school, it means free education, I studied in senior high school for 2 years before going to college and finally i am college now, I'm so happy because I'm close to my dream, I'm close to repaying my mama's hardships.

I'm taking an exam at the university I'm going to go to for college, I reviewed, i had no pressure that time, I just enjoyed it.

after a few weeks the results came out, I searched for my name but it was not on the list of passes, meaning I did not pass the exam, anoooother heart break i faced again.

But i was not discouraged, they said "Just cry but fight again" We can no longer change destiny like to my father or to my family.

How i handle another heart break?

• I just look at my family especially to my mom, to get strength and I'm okay again, fighting again, i just realize, that's life, full of surprises.

Mom has stopped doing laundry for our neighbors because my older brother worked in a fast food restaurant, so he was the one who supported all the household expenses, but there are a lot of expenses at home, I don't want to add to my brother's expenses, I also can't stop studying because I need to hurry up so I can help my brother, I also need to work and at the same time fulfill my dream of becoming a teacher.

I searched, asked questions to my friends, What school has free in college education so that I can reduce what my brother's thinking on expenses and finally I found a school who recommended my one of batch mates in highschool.

June 13, 2019, I am enrolled. I'm in my first year college.

I thought if I gave up because I didn’t get into the university I wanted, I couldn’t go to college, I can't fulfill my dreams, but God is very kind to me, he made a way, it is true that

there is no trial given to us that we cannot bear.

2021

I am now incoming 3rd year college, I'm so close, I am very happy because my family is here for me, they supported me until today, even my papa is not beside us, we were able to because of love and being strong with each other, nothing really beats love and a strong family even without support of "haligi ng tahanan" (father)

Hi! this is my first article, I'm not good at English at the same time telling a story so bear with me please, jebal!

till my next story! Annyeong!