When you are not respected, I understand how irritating and terrible it may be. People don't pay attention to you, dismiss your sentiments, and never choose your ideas. Others don't seem to care about you.
I also understand that, regardless of where you begin, you can quickly get respect. A few well-placed moves in the right direction are all that is required.
Here's how to earn people's respect:
Demonstrate to others that you value yourself.
Consider how you would act in the scenario if you were a respected person. Then act accordingly.
Here are some examples of behaviors that can help you raise your status:
Your jokes are hilarious (a lot of self-deprecating humor, or humor that puts other people down, will not earn you respect)
The things that make you laugh (and, more importantly, refuse to laugh at)
Where you travel, what you do, and what events you attend When someone asks you about yourself, your work, or your life, how do you explain yourself, your work, or your life?
What you share on social media (as well as what you like and remark on)
You should refrain from boasting. But don't be hesitant to stand up for what makes you unique. Here are a few things that most respected and high-value people believe in:
“I put in long hours”
“I'm a fantastic friend.”
“I'm concerned about other people”
“I'm dependable and responsible”
“I've overcome many challenges in my life”
“I'm proud of who I am”
This isn't to say that you have to tell people these things outright. Keep in mind that boasting will not bring you respect.
Create boundaries that are both obvious and enforceable.
If you frequently feel taken advantage of or that you are overly polite, this is especially crucial for you.
Setting clear, enforceable limits is the most effective approach to prevent someone from taking advantage of you.
This strategy demonstrates to others that you are not to be taken for granted and that you expect them to treat you with respect.
Consider the things you have control over while establishing boundaries.
Don't set a limit that you won't be able to enforce.
Let's imagine you have the impression that a friend is taking advantage of you. They are welcome to visit your home at any time, eat your food, and sleep on your couch. They also never ask permission or offer money to the grocery store.
In this case, you can set a boundary that no one can come to your house without your permission or invitation between the hours of 9 p.m. and 9 a.m.
You must inform the person with whom you are having an issue once you have chosen what boundaries you need to create.
People almost always have a motive for doing what they do. It is beneficial to think about the other person's circumstances. What may have prompted them to act in this manner? Is it true that they've always taken you for granted?
You can even propose strategies for them to get their needs addressed without relying on you.
For example, if your friends need a place to stay or if they routinely eat at your house, ask them to call beforehand.
Even if you've established a barrier, there's a risk they'll go over it. People sometimes forget because they've been doing things the same way for a long time.
If this occurs, the next step is to have another dialogue with them about it. Explain once more:
Why are the things they're doing bothering you?
What are your boundaries, and why have you set them?
If they continue to disregard your boundaries, you may need to make more dramatic measures. Regrettably, it may be essential to cut ties with some "friends."
Speak in a way that others will pay attention to you.
Many people who struggle to gain respect believe they have no voice and that no one cares about what they have to say.
Are they talking over you, interrupting you, or ignoring you?
Are folks oblivious to what you're saying?
Is it possible that your feelings and ideas are being overlooked?
Making your voice heard will assist you in developing a stronger presence. People close to you, including family, friends, and coworkers, will respect you as a result of your presence.
When conversing with others, use their names.
To be easily understood, avoid using unnecessarily complex language. (People will dislike you if they can't understand what you're saying.)
Discuss topics that the other person is interested in. (It's a common blunder to simply discuss your own hobbies.)
More questions about the other person will keep the other person's attention on you.
Make use of hand gestures to make your message more powerful and obvious.
Maintain greater eye contact (ensure that everyone in the group receives about equal amounts of eye contact to maintain everyone's interest.)
To develop a strong voice that everyone hears, practice your voice and articulation.
Complaining and negativity should be kept to a minimum (make people feel good listening to you.)
Don't brag about yourself. (People will pick up on it and think worse of you as a result.)
Make advantage of effective pauses. (Silence has a significant influence on speech.)
When speaking, vary your cadence and tone. You become more intriguing to listen to as a result of this. (Practice by recording yourself speaking at home.)
Request comments from others on how you may improve your speaking.
Stop making excuses for your mere presence.
Imagine someone dumping their drink on you by accident. Then you say "I'm sorry" out of habit, even if you done nothing wrong and are now covered in beer.
It's a sign that you're more submissive than dominant if you're constantly apologizing. While both "submissive" and "dominant" can be harmful in extremes, finding the correct balance is the key. You don't want to be a doormat or a pushover, but you also don't want to be disrespectful or arrogant.
If you want to obtain respect, you should save your apologies for the times when you are truly sorry (for example, when you spill your beer on a stranger).
Your thoughts and presence are valuable, so don't apologize for simply being present. Don't get caught up in the habit of "sorry-ing" your way through life.
Use a self-assured body language.
People can read our body language to see how we feel about ourselves.
You will appear bashful, afraid, or uneasy if you go around with your shoulders slumped, arms folded, and eyes on the ground. None of this inspires admiration.
People will look up to you if your body language conveys confidence. They'll assume there's a valid explanation for your confidence, and that you're deserving of their admiration.
Confident body language has the following characteristics:
When speaking and listening, maintain good eye contact.
Maintain proper posture by not slouching or crossing your arms.
Walking with a goal in mind (not wandering around aimlessly)
Keep your chin up and your gaze forward (instead of down)
When conversing, make hand motions (instead of keeping your hands shoved in your pockets)
Remember that while self-assured people gain respect, arrogant people lose it.
Take a stand for your views and opinions.
We dishonor ourselves when we sacrifice our convictions in order to fit in.
I have a Christian acquaintance who practices conventional Christianity. It's not particularly prevalent where he lives in Sweden because the majority of the population is atheist. But he is respected by all.
Why?
Because he doesn't force his opinions on others and doesn't judge those who don't share them. When someone questions him about it, though, he always stands fast in his convictions while remaining respectful and kind.
That's the sweet spot: being at ease with both your own views and the beliefs of others.
To be continued tomorrow...
One thing is certain, when you give respect you can earn it back.