Try letting go instead of holding on tightly to feel lighter

Letting go involves a lot of things. One part of you says let go, the other part says don't let go. When your logic says go, your emotions say don't go and holding on comes into play, the more you want to let go, the more you unconsciously hold on, even if you think you are holding on, you can't. Then only your hands hurt... Have you ever had your hands hurt?

Mine hurt a lot. Not being able to let go. It's a war with yourself and you open the front in that war when you don't need to. That's why you want to quit but you can't. Have you ever won an internal battle? Have you ever felt better in the midst of all this turmoil? Or did the people who hurt your soul regret it after your inner battle? What happened?

Let me give you the answer, you were the only loser. In a war that has no winners... Because in fact, no war has no winners, only wounded people, and you wounded yourself because you couldn't accept it. Let's accept it and stop asking "Why?" Are you in? It's time to silence the inner voice that eats you up like "Why did this happen to me?", "Why did he do this, say that?".

We get stuck in our judgments and complaints, in our emotions and stories. Let's focus on the outcome, no matter the why, how, howsoever, there is only one truth: whatever you have been through is over. What is left behind is a lot of experiences, good and bad. Put it in your pocket and go.

Why are we so attached to what we think we have, what we think will make us happy?

Of course pain is inevitable when things are too much, that's normal, but suffering is optional; pain is a physical condition, if there is pain now, it's real, it's there, you can't ignore it, it's there. Resisting pain doesn't help us, it only increases the discomfort. Suffering, on the other hand, comes from our indifference to pain, from wishing it wasn't there. It comes from our fight against reality. Not accepting what is is an additional layer of discomfort that comes from holding on to the idea of how something should be. Suffering is our resistance to reality. Our refusal, our inability to consent, is our resistance.

Whatever we have been through, maybe we were not given the love we deserved, maybe we suffered great pain. Maybe we were ignored, used, maybe we experienced much worse things. Reliving those moments over and over again in our minds or hearts, paying the price or dreaming of paying the price, not being able to accept life, inner restlessness, anger, unhappiness, even self-dislike.

Haven't you fought enough? You must accept what happened in the past and not ask Why? The pen was broken, judgments were made, you lived what you had to live and it's over. The question "Why?" can be very damaging, it will always take you backwards. If onlys are your worst enemy. This is where positive psychology starts, you have to pull out that sponge and learn to be happy with what you have. Come on then, the stage is yours.