Decoding Anti-Hero [Track 3]

It's no secret that Taylor Swift released an album last October 21, 2022 titled "Midnights". Many individuals have expressed on how pleased they are with the outcome. I was also delighted, but I kept silent because I was stunned. Taylor seems to understand what I've been going through lately, and I must say that this album spoke to my thoughts.

Just so you know, I'm a Swiftie for more than a decade, as is my lovely boyfriend. I love how Taylor uses metaphors in her songs to communicate her feelings. I, too, am captivated with metaphors and enjoy using them in my writings.

This article will focus on my favorite track from the album, "Anti-Hero," which is also Taylor's favorite. I'm going to decipher some of her metaphors based on how I perceived them and feel about them not because of its references. I'm not an expert, but I'll try my best. (Disclaimer: Self-pity ahead.)

"When my depression works the graveyard shift. All of the people I've ghosted stand there in the room."

It's beyond midnight, yet my eyes are still widely open. My depression has struck. My thoughts wander to the people I was with. Their memories torment me, and they have never left me alone. Some are happy, some are sad and tragic. They merely stand in the corner, yet seeing them in my thoughts kills me.

"I wake up screaming from dreaming. One day I'll watch as you're leaving. 'Cause you got tired of my scheming."

My anxiety creeps in like a horrible dream from time to time, fearing that the man I'm with would leave me soon because of my toxicity and the way I treated him. The pinnacle of a sinister scheme.

"It's me. Hi. I'm the problem, it's me. At teatime, Everybody agrees."

My self-sabotaging self is rejoicing. I am, in reality, the problem. Everything I do is difficult and complicated. I'm cursing the person I care about. All of the chaos and catastrophe is my fault, and my anxiety convinces me that everyone agrees in my back.

"I'll stare directly at the sun, but never in the mirror." / "Sometimes I feel like everybody is a sexy baby, And I'm a monster on the hill."

I'm always gazing at the societal expectation. On how gorgeous ladies are, how perfect their soda bottle-like figures are, and how flawless their skin is. It makes me feel uneasy. I don't want to look in the mirror because it will remind me of how ugly I am.

"Too big to hang out. Slowly lurching toward your favorite city. Pierced through the heart but never killed."

I feel like I'm so heavy that no one can carry me up, so I'm just sitting here, starring at most men's favorite city with the sea of gorgeous and sexy ladies they can be with and deserve to introduce as a future bride. Unlike me. It hurts like a dagger thrust in my heart, yet I'm still standing tall like an unbothered queen.

"Did you hear my covert narcissism, I disguise as altruism like some kind of congressman?"

I may seem narcissistic and self-centered at times, but I have a poor self-esteem and my insecurities follow me even when I sleep. That is why I am always seeking unrealistic attention. I feel as though I have an illness that I don't know how to cure. To others, I look altruistic and philanthropic, much like a politician, but the fact is that I don't care.

"I have this dream my daughter-in-law kills me for the money. She thinks I left them in the will. The family gathers 'round and reads it. And then someone screams out, "She's laughing up at us from hell!" "

My relatives assumed I was their lovely niece. The polite one, the most caring, prim and proper, giving, and other wonderful attributes that they thought I got from them because now I have something in my pocket, but only if they knew, I'm cursing them in my mind like a girl burning in hell. I'll never forget what they did to me and my family when I was a kid. It's etched in my head like their names in a tomb.

"It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero."

They say you're the main character in your own movie, "Life," and most of the time, the protagonist is a hero with heroic qualities that I lack. I'm the villain in my own tale, which novelists refer to as an "antihero."

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Hey!

I hope you enjoyed this article. I've been preoccupied with my Kuya's wedding for the past few days, which is why I haven't had time to write here.

Just popping in your red bell. I'll go back now to my coffee sesh with my babe. I'll see you next time!