We Cope Differently

We are different from one other. Your coping mechanism may not work on other people. If you like to talk to someone every time you have problems, some people prefer to cut off anyone when they are handling something. I keep holding on to that as a reason to understand him for ghosting me for almost a month now.

"He's probably just going through something," I sighed as I checked my unread messages for him. I took his absence as a chance to focus on my studies. But as days passed by and the more I check if he is online, the more my patience ran out.

I understand that he is someone who bottles up his emotions to himself. Because I, myself, does the same. But perhaps, I didn't understand the part that talking to me doesn't make him any magic. If I were in his situation, I would just talk to him because he makes me forget all my problems. That thought makes me overthink what I mean to him. But then again, I thought, we cope in a different way.

I don't know how much longer I could understand the situation. We all go through something, and yes it's a different degree for each of us but that never reached the point where we avoid the person we love. Or am I wrong? I am confused and scared to know the truth.

It's my exam week. I have to focus but I can't. The thought of him distracts me. What I really need at the moment is an outlet of the emotions that I have bottled up for a long time. Writing the previous sentence makes me think, how come I bottled everything up but I never ghosted him? I also have my own problems you know. I struggle with my academics, family problems, and myself has issues. Is asking him to talk to me despite his problems reasonable or am I being selfish?

It's not like I wanna add up to his problems (well obviously I am adding up now because I want him to spend some time with me too and apparently he can't because he is busy dealing with his problems) I just wanna help him cope up. I just wanna be there as he goes through things :(

I don't know how I could help him. He's not being specific with his problems. I've read a lot of stories about people breaking up because either of them is mentally unstable to be in a relationship. I'll just...

Take a rest. Tomorrow is another day yay. No matter what happens I'll always have myself.