The Guy From Omegle

October 2, 2022

About two months ago, I met this guy on omegle. You know omegle is a dating site but I was there only to have someone to talk to since I have been away from my family for a while. And also I needed to stay awake because I was reviewing for my exam. You might say why look for someone to talk to? You wouldn't be able to focus on the reviewers but I guess it worked for me because I am one of the top scorer.

So at first we were cool. The vibe was really platonic and chill which I really liked. We would ignore each other for the majority of the day because we would focus on our own thing. I would spend my day in school or doing schoolwork at home, and he would spend his doing house chores or studying japanese language. After that we would call each other past 10 pm because that is the time when his parents are asleep. I liked that setup though I have to admit it means sacrificing my sleep because before I met him, I would sleep even before 10 pm.

Weeks go by and the set up changed. He declared that he loves me which I find absurd since I just got out from a break up so I'm in a healing stage and the break up really taught me not to get carried away by the sweet words. He would message me often which I find annoying because now I have the obligation to reply when all I want in life right now is to fully move on from my ex and focus on my studies. But ironically, I can't really push him away because he is a really nice guy.

And I'll admit it, he treats me better than my ex. He would call me. Update me from time to time on what he's doing so I don't get worried if he is already cheating or what. He would send me gifts. He would put me first. When I think of it, it really annoys me that the things I wish my ex did are being done by someone I cannot reciprocate my feelings to. I don't get it. I'm already being treated right and now I'm the toxic one? Time must be so playful. If only I met this guy when I wasn't in my healing phase then I would probably fall in love with him.

Though it makes me guilty that I cannot like him the way that he likes me, I am proud of myself for being honest with him. I have made it clear to him that I haven't moved on from my ex. I have also told him not to invest in me (and even before he developed feelings, I already told him that I am not ready to deal with someone romantically). But still I'm on fault because I keep entertaining him when my words keep telling him to stay away.

Ugh, I don't know what to do. I wish he didn't met me.