Romanticizing My Life: Entry 4

My throat hurtsss and I can't breathe using two of my nose flares. I was supposed to be asleep by now but I can't because of the struggle of breathing. My eyes keep watering and my mind is occupied about the upcoming exam tomorrow. Eh, it's 3 am by now so the exam's going to be hours later. I think it's funny how my schedule is really conflicted ever since I got into college. Imagine I was just a little kid who had the time of the world, who was free to go out and play with friends. And now setting plans with my friends is a challenge because we have different schedules whose free time doesn't coincide with one another. (And I feel bad sometimes because when I'm free that's when I can't deactivate my hermit crab mode!)

I miss the old days where I could read for hours without worrying about a schoolwork. Damn, so when I get a job it's gonna be busier than this huh? You know what, I'm not worried about the future because I don't think much of that lately—I am just going with the flow and doing my best in every present that I am in. What I am worried about is what if I'm being so caught up with these responsibilities that I forget to have fun? I don't want to look back on this day and regret missing fun opportunities. This reminds me, I miss my bucket list. I miss pasting toilet paper or tickets to my scrapbook. I miss writing lyrics though it was easy to search them on Google. I miss printing pictures that inspire me. I miss my journal.

Wow, I just realized now how much I missed a lot of things. May I find the joy in every present day so when I look back, I don't regret anything and I am filled with memories because I will never be as young as I am today.

Well, there's no right way of living life since we live life through different ways and would still get the same satisfaction and happiness. But for myself who lives in a parallel universe:

Hey, whatever you are doing right now (you probably chose to sleep with your runny nose instead of waking up) I hope that when you face another morning, you start it with a smile. And when sad thoughts about your ex-boyfriend appears because you saw a dog that looks like his dog, I hope you don't feel sad and mourn about the break up all day. You are beautiful. You are smart. And if you don't love yourself, don't worry you love yourself in this parallel universe where I exist.

I should go to sleep now.