Anxiety Over Excitement

This is it! My long awaited day is finally here, I am moving outtt. I may sound excited but actually I am really nervous. I can't help but smile when I reminisce those times when I wrote a diary entry about being excited for this day. I used to fantasize packing my things and leaning against the window while a sad song about growing up is playing in the background. Well, this day is nothing like I imagined. Preparing my things is quite stressful because I have to decided which clothes to bring and in the back of my mind, I am worried of how I will do on my own. I know I can do it but I'm sure it is not as easy as saying it.

Oh and these past weeks, I've been avoiding people. I don't really wanna hold a conversation at the moment because oh well I think I'm broken hearted. He has not been online for almost two months now. I may quite understand if he was just grounded from gadgets during the summer or he was on a vacation somewhere without internet. Those things had happened in the past so I didn't really mind when he disappears. But this time it is different. It's been two months and guess what! I saw his number of tweets change in number. Apparently he's been deleting some of his tweets (I don't follow him and his account is private) which makes me really sad every time I check because it means he just really chose to ignore me. :(

But it's okay. I'm trying to hold it together on my own though I can't avoid the times when I get really sad and I just cry because I wish he cared. I wanted to talk more about him but anyway this isn't about him, this is about my big day. So yeah I'm moving out, I'm gonna be hundreds of miles away from my family. I'm gonna be really homesick but it's for my growth so fighting!

Now I gotta sleep because tomorrow I'm traveling. Good night.