Three kinds of friendships and the guilt "where do you belong?"

"Have you ever felt guilty that you are not a better friend?"

"Do you need one or more close friends?"

You know you have these great friendships or these old friends from school or college, or from work, or from down the block who you haven't kept up with and you sort of feel bad about it or you've been frustrated that you dont jare better friends, people who are more positive, supportive, inspiring, achievement driven, caring or just to be happy, if that's the case you're going to love this article.

There is this guilt around friendship a lot of people carry, they dont think good friends exist, or they dont reach out to friends in a long time, or they did something bad to an old friend who they still carry stuffs around. I will briefly explain 3 categories of friendships that might help solve some of that.

As we mature and we get older, we all have to realize that we go through different stages of friendship and wherever you're at in your life today, you have good fiends that will probably fit into one of these three categories, once you recognize the categories there's not as much guilt about it anymore,you can let it go and you dont have to feel bad about it.

The first category will be your:

Old Friends

These are friends who maybe;

Those you went to school with, you had your first job with, you spent a number of childhood years with, you were in your first city with. These are old friends meaning they are not old age wise but they truly are old friends or past friends.

We have lots of guilt coming up in our life thinking "I wish I kept in touch with those people over here, or these group of people over here or those folks over there" and what I tell people sometimes is 'let it go', those friendships are old, they're past and not current anymore, you dont have to feel connected in any way.

You've had the memories and the time you were meant to have with them, a divine timing lined you up wth them but also moves you from them so you dont have to feel like "Oh Lord I've got these 10 friends I never keep in touch with anymore" if you don't keep in touch with them guess what, they weren't meant to be a different category of friends. They were meant to be at that time in your life and now it was time to move on, allow that and be cool with that sometimes.

I've got quite a number of people I have interacted with and became friends with but I didn't keep in touch with all, well I did with a few of them and that is okay, I have no guilt about that and when I do hear out from them if ever they reach out to me sometimes to say "Hey how are you doing" it gets me realy excited but at the end of the day we have to sometimes categorize people just like you would categorize anything when it come to friendship, I dont mean to compare I know they are indeed different buy I think too many people carry along too much upset by not letting go when it's time to do that. Not saying you should completely abandon most of your old friends but the friendship is what it is. Sometimes you speak to each other only when you cross paths or maybe in an event or any gathering.

The second category will be your;

Servising Friends

What do I mean by this?

These are friends and maybe they could be old friends but it's quite different, you only want to maintain that friendship but not do more than that. These are the people you send birthday cards or wishes to, send holiday cards to, you make a few calls to maybe one or two each year, you send messages once or twice a year like "How is it going?" After that exchange nothing happens again. A lot of people feel guilty here and wish they did more with the short time, No! dear people its cool, you've got to have those friends too.

I have few friends we relate briefly each year maybe 2 times a year, we meet to briefly relieve some past memories and that is it, it dosent go further than that and I have no problem with that neither should you.

Families can be your servicing friends, that is fine. You know that it's the relationship you have with them and the type of friends they are.

The next type of friendship is what you should pay attention to,

Buildout Friends

These are people who you see your life evolving and maturing with, and with continual joy, fun and adventures. People who feel a kindred friendship and for whatever reasons you need them in your life on a regular basis.

They are your best friends, can be a tight group, a tight squad, that always walk together, play together, eat together, grow up together, keep in touch and always meeting all the time. You would want to have this type of friendship, focus your time and energy towards that, whatever time spent grows the relationship.

These friends are you hang out with, free to talk to and share similar interest even trust then with what you dont tell your family.

You respect them in their values and respect how they respect you. You have this deep connection when you are with each other you dont know why you do but it becomes so real.

"How are your friendships?"

"Do you have a guilty feeling if you dont keep in touch?"

"Can you be an old friend to one and a close friend to another?"

These categories are important to know, no harm intended but try to keep those great friends more closer, they will do anything for you even for you to become the better you.

We all deserve close friends that cares for us and looks out for us.

After reading through@Princessbusayo recent story here

https://read.cash/@Princessbusayo/all-about-sunday-yesterday-8521db00

I decided to write this.

Let me know from the comments what kind of friends you have and your relationship with them.

Thanks for always reading and thanks to everyone supporting and also @TheRandomRewarder

July 05 2021