Jailed in Worries

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Avatar for Kelzy
Written by
3 years ago
Date: December 1, 2021

"That attitude of yours!"

Huhu! I heard those words again. Though I provoke that person to do it, I just can't take that person will say it.

Is it too bad to keep silent when you're hurt? So that you can't say anything that will make the situation worse? It's not that you want to get coax but you just want to think and calm down.

While typing this article I can't hold my tears. It keeps falling and I'm pitying myself.

I admitted that I'm complicated to understand, (given to ladies) I'm sensitive and paranoid. I get panic and overreact even on simple issues. Maybe because of the trauma I got from the past and it's hard to change especially you know where the situation will go.

Why do I keep silent if there is a problem?

Actually, I talk. I will open it and ask for help if I need but if I noticed that the person doesn't care or think "Nah it will be okay" I will keep silent. It's not that I'm mad or sullen but rather shy and worried. I'm worried that the person I talked will get stressed and involved in my issues which they're not obligated to. I will fix it on my own and don't want to bother anymore.

I'm like in jailed that wants to get out now but feel worried and think so many if's.

But don't pity me and don't put the sympathy for me. You didn't know the other side and I will not tackle the story. I just want to rant and let this burden out 'cause it's very heavy and it's driving me crazy.

I'm so down earlier and my mind was floating. I browse here to read to turn my sadness away. I bump to someone's article and upvote him $5 which is unusual for me to do. I feel my blood get back after I realized it. Hahaha! But it's okay for me because he deserves it. His articles are great and he is also my friend in Telegram. While Rusty wasn't around earlier I replace him for a while. Kidding!

This situation always happens every time I'm sad or mad. I remember back then when I fetch Mom at the airport we fight and I can't think right. I pay $80 to the taxi driver that drives us home but our fare only is $30. I didn't mind it while we are quarreling. I realized it 3 days ago when I checked my wallet and mom scolded me and brought it up again. Haha.

So if you saw my posts in noise.cash ranting, get ready and stay tuned I might be accidentally tipped or upvoted you big, well not that big but still helps. Hehe. (I don't want to be sad hahaha lol)

I drink a bottle of light alcohol to get away from this feeling. I want to have a good sleep now and forget about it. Hope tomorrow will be okay with the problem I'm worried about.

PS. I'm not broken haha

Good night for now. See you in my next article ^^

Thanks for reading :)


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Avatar for Kelzy
Written by
3 years ago

Comments

Cheers Ate, heheh. I also noticed your tip in one writers. My thought is really true, because I confused why you give him that big amount, maybe you just have a mistake, but it's okay because he deserves it also.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Frenny ko rin naman siya hehe :) Sa kanya ko din nalaman na wala si Rusty e nag uupdate siya sa gc namin worried na siya hehe para sa kanya talaga yun hehe

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Someone also accidentally tip $5 instead of .05 so I asked her if was a slightley mistake and I gave it back to her the whole $5 then she 's glad of what i'm doing then she tipped me $1πŸ˜…

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Unusual kasi yun e diba hehe

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Ok lang yan beh lahat tayo eh may kadramahan sa life, hehe

$ 0.00
3 years ago

I have seen some users you did the same Sis. It's really okay for me to tip big, but sometimes I need to manage it because di masyado malaki yung earnings ko hahha sapat lang. Kaya custom ko talaga. Btw, laban lang Sis, pahinga mo sarili mo:)

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Hahaha ayun na nga cinustom ko haha

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Hehe everyone comforting you so let me be the one who will not hehe. Natawa ako dun sa hindi mo narerealized and value ng money hahaha. same here, when my full angry arose naku po. I don't care about everything or everyone. Thats my problem wala na ako nakikilala hahaha... anyways hear there comforts. get well.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Hahaha ayoko na malungkot mauubos funds ko char hahaha

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Swerte Naman nung nakatanggap ng 5$ hehe. Sana maging okay ka soon. Dika nag iisa sa mga ganyan. Madami Tayo. Mas pinipili ng manahimik pero dito sa noise and read ko nilalabas.

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User's avatar Yen
3 years ago

Naging diary ko na here tas may audience pang nasagot hehe

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Same and halos lahat satin hehe

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User's avatar Yen
3 years ago

good thing there's noise and read to spit out all these worries in our head and heart! bottoms up!

$ 0.00
3 years ago

It’s ok dear. I understand your feelings. A big hug and please have less alcohol.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

You're really a big brother to me. You remember everything I share. Thank you bro ❀️

$ 0.00
3 years ago

I'm there for you, always ❀️

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Are you okay now beh?

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3 years ago

Need Ate char. Ayos lang ate don't mind my kadramahan hehe

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3 years ago

A trauma in the past can really affect anybody. Depending how bad was it especially if you were a child it could leave a deeper mark. I hope it is not that kind of trauma. I wish you be ok.

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3 years ago

That's what happen to me in the past but I will find a way not to stay there. Don't worry. I'll be okay. Thank you Peter 😊

$ 0.00
3 years ago

I remember the post on Noise, the story of that $5 accidentally gone. I'm sorry but I laughed so hard when I first read it. In fact, it is one of the mistakes of being human, one day I may make the same mistake.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

That's alright πŸ˜… Accident always happens but this one is okay. Hehe

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3 years ago