Steps to Overcoming Fear In Relationships

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4 years ago

What can you do about your fears? The initialstep is facing and accepting the fact that fear may be ruling your life in some way. And if so, identify what the fears are. List them, and then evaluate each on a scale of 0 to 10 to discover the intensity. A 0 indicates no fear, 5 is average, and 10 is very intense. Ask yourself the question, “What amI doing to keep this fear alive in my life?” You may be surprised at the answer.

Talk about your fear with a trusted friend who can assist you. List the results of living by fear or becoming a risk-taker. Face your fear by doing the thing of which you are afraid. This breaks the power of fear. Look to God’s Word for guidance, wisdom, and control of your fears. One of my favorite passages is Psalm37. It begins, “Do not fret,” and those words are repeated later in the chapter. The dictionary defines fret as “to eat away, gnaw, gall, vex, worry, agitate, wear away.”

Whenever I hear this word, I’mreminded of the scene I see each year when I hike along the Snake River in Grand Teton National Park in Wyoming. Families of beavers live along the riverbanks, and often I see trees that are at various stages of being gnawed to the ground. Some trees have slight rings around their necks where the beavers have just started to chew. Other trees have several inches of bark eaten away, and some have already fallen to the ground because the beavers have gnawed through the trunks. Worry and fear have the same effect on us. They will gradually eat away at us until they destroy us. And they will keep us fromhaving the love we want in a relationship.

In addition to telling us not to fret, Psalm37 gives us positive substitutes for worry. First, it says, “Trust (lean on, rely on, and be confident) in the Lord” (verse 3, AMP). Trust is a matter of not attempting to live an independent life or to cope with difficulties alone. It means going to a greater source for strength.

Second, verse 4 says, “Delight yourself also in the Lord” (AMP). To delight means to rejoice in God and what He has done for us. Let God supply the joy of your life.

Third, verse 5 says, “Commit your way to the Lord” (AMP). Commitment is a definite act of the will, and it involves releasing your worries and anxieties to the Lord.

And fourth, we are to “rest in the Lord; wait for Him” (verse 7, AMP). This means to submit in silence to what He ordains but to be ready and expectant for what He is going to do in your life.

Have you ever considered the question, “Why did God put so many ‘fear nots’ in the Bible when He knows we tend to be fearful creatures?” God’s “fear nots” are just another way He has provided for you. God doesn’t want your life to be a chore. Fear makes it that. God doesn’t want you to be driven by fear but by hope. And He gives you the hope you need when He says, “Fear not.”

You can be a free person without compromising who you are out of fear of others. Life is a risk, but risks give you a great opportunity to learn to live by faith. Fear will no longer be the dominating force in your life if you refuse to let it be. Your imagination is one of God’s greatest gifts to you. Use it!

Your imagination can generate fear, or it can be a vehicle for bringing God’s peace and calm into your life. Isaiah the prophet said, “Thou dost keep himin perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee” (Isaiah 26:3, RSV). If marriage is part of your dream, don’t let fear become your life’s companion rather than a person. If remaining single is your choice, let it be because it is God’s calling for you rather than because you are afraid.

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Avatar for Kaylee
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Great information about this event dear

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