Perhaps you’re already in a new relationship and are hoping that it will lead to marriage. There are several books on remarriage that gives people motivation on going ahead to remarry. But there are quite a number of issues to deal with in a second marriage.
Also, there are so many things that push people into remarrying. This happens quite frequently. Things like emotional rescue, relational rescue, and financial rescue. Some of the same reasons that keep us in a relationship too long can push us into a relationship too soon.
In addition to the other forms of rescue, you will face the sex issue again. Sexual rescue is a problemmost single-again persons will have to face. The concern is twofold: “Will I ever have sex again now that I amsingle?” and “Will I and can I be celibate until I marry again?” This becomes the big pursuit for many people, and some have found this pressure prompting their move toward marriage. But the sexdrive by itself is not sufficient reason for getting married. Celibacy and a biblical pattern of living is possible and is more commonly practiced than you might believe.
One other form of rescue is worth noting—parental rescue.
A custodial parent of one, two, three, or four children can be worn to a frazzle. Many second marriages have come about because the parent wanted another parent more than they wanted a spouse. Keep in mind that a biological parent will always have stronger ties and more of an emotional investment in their children than a stepparent. A second marriage will never rescue you frombeing the primary parent.
Fortunately, we are able to take advantage of the wealth of information that has been accumulated over the years about the adjustment issues in remarriage. It’s much simpler when there are no children coming into the new marriage. But many remarriages have multiple children on both sides.
If you or your new spouse are bringing children into a new marriage, hopefully there is a healthy, cooperative relationship between the biological parent and their ex. But if it is more of an adversarial relationship, you or your new spouse may need to formulate some formof foreign policy of conduct toward the former spouse. The purpose of such a policy is as follows:
¶ To prevent a former spouse from draining emotional or material resources fromyour new marriage.
¶ To prevent your former marriage from interfering and having a negative influence on your new marriage.
¶ To keep your former spouse’s responses from hurting the children in your new marriage.
¶ To attempt to build some type of healthy, mature interaction between the former spouses.
You or your new spouse may need to be firmin your responses and be unavailable at times when the former spouse tries to make contact. Make it very clear that the new relationship comes first and be willing to help your new partner cope with the former one.
A (new) marriage sounds like a real horror to me. A good reason not to start a new relationship ever although I could use a handyman and gardener. 🤔
There are many reasons to get married and in most cases, it's about security, finances, or looking better in the eyes of society because you don't manage to take care of yourself and are scared to be alone.
With us, finances is a good reason although these days there's no longer a need to get married. You can live together, sign a living together contract and this will save you an awful lot of money (not the misery) of a divorce that takes years.