The church usually had services at the Youth Church every third Sunday of the month.
The meeting usually had an average of 800 to 1000 expectant youths in attendance.
I had ministered there in songs severally but for the first time I was slotted to preach to
that large audience.
I had literally waited on the LORD and heard Him concerning the service, but that day I
wasn't going to give 'trash' to God's people.
****
On getting home, I was reluctant to move an inch, nevertheless I had to drive the boys
to church and not allow the devil deprive me further of God's presence.
I kept telling myself I was forgiven... I had this feeling of God's peace and love... I just
couldn't bring myself to accept it. At some point I felt I was being too self righteous and
too hard on myself.
I walked into the auditorium after praise and worship (for the first time in a long time). I
had to battle with the ushers persuading me to move to 'my seat' in front. I won.
The youth choir was ministering ‘Reckless Love’. To me, that song was timely. Victoria, a
powerful minister, tore my heart to pieces when she said: “You like BECAUSE, but you love DESPITE”. God doesn't like you because of anything. He loves you despite
everything you have done.
It was too true to be true. I felt the peace of God like cold water on a weary soul all over
me again. I found my self unashamedly crying...not without images of me kissing Xavier
flashing through my face as I closed my eyes.
Then Simon mounted the podium.
"We have a minister this morning..." He announced. I tried to stretch to see who he
finally invited.
"He is one of us...A man full of power and grace..."
Applauds and a standing ovation followed his words. I was still trying to scan the
auditorium when I heard him scream my name. (Oh my God! Simon why? Didn't you get
my text?)
I didn't want to create any further scene so I followed the three protocol officers to the
pulpit, confused.
Simon hugged me and whispered, "We are not always ready when the LORD needs us..."
I knelt down helplessly and I took the solo of “Oceans” by Hillsong.
That was all that morning - the whole church was charged up!
People were on their knees already, some praying, and doing all sorts.
I said no words! I didn't even open a scripture! Then I heard God clearly, he said "I HAVE
COME TO HEAL MY PEOPLE..." I was scared. I said it out anyways.
The healing started in the choir; our keyboardist who was partially blind regained his
sight. I heard him shout it out.
Then the lady with the wheel chair lifted it up.
I got up in awe of God. The miracles almost got me teary. I kept singing, song after song.
After about an hour of diverse demonstration of God's power I gave the mic for
testimonies as instructed by the Holy Spirit, and to my greatest surprise, there were
massive healings that day, even the healing of the soul.
The roars of Joy caught the attention of the main church, it was a glorious sight. The last
time I saw that much miracle was when my dad was still alive.
Past the closing time but miracles were still happening.
I was laying hands, Simon too. Our pastor's came over. It was an unusual service, the
first of its kind after so many years.
Service was over. I sauntered into my office (as personal assistant to the presiding
pastor). I made sure I locked myself in and stayed still. My head was buried on my desk
and I found myself crying as I pondered on what had just happened.
"Why are you crying?" I heard a voice say. It was GOD'S voice.
I just didn't know what to reply. Should I ask why GOD who works in purity would use
me? Should I ask why he didn't start the whole healing without me? Should I ask why I
felt the way I felt with Xavier? A lot of questions I would love to ask.
Then I heard again, "I am launching you from today to another level in ministry..." His
voice was loud in my ears, "I'd hold your hands as you hold mine. Give yourself to
prayers".
Then the exact voice I heard that night again saying "I love you"
I can't explain how I felt afterwards in words.
A knock came. I didn't respond. I thought whoever it was would give up but then it came
again. It was Simon. I got up and let him in.
"You lied to me", he said, walking straight to the sofa, "You told me you weren't
ready...why? You wanted to hinder all that God has planned...?"
"I wouldn't lie to you Simon. I wasn't in any way ready. Lastnight I....I ... " stuttering, I
couldn't bring myself to tell him that moment all that had happened between Xavier
and me. It was the first thing I intended hiding from my friend.
Like he knew something he replied, "No matter the sin you committed GOD's love took
over. There's something you want to tell me...it's okay if you don't tell me now...just
know I'm always here for you and you must give me that gist.. "
We both smiled and hugged.
"Can we have a selfie with this your fine shirt...I don't know when the LORD will permit
you to wear it again..." Simon teased.
I knew he wanted to cheer me up.
I accepted and we left for our favorite background. Simon's love for me was genuine. It
was more than the kind Jonathan had for David. He was that one friend that stuck closer
than a brother.
Never have I doubted his love for me. I knew that the night before, he prayed for me
and his intercession was a banner over me.
I stayed at Simon's place, that afternoon we played games after which he drove me and
the boys home.
He had more confidence driving at the night than I did.
I got home to meet my Aunt and her husband watching the television...she had her head
on his shoulder.
I greeted and was about walking into my room when she called.
She asked that I sit. I was waiting for her to speak but all I got from the couple was this
'see how you killed Goliath' smile. I knew where the whole drama was coming from.
"We got videos of your ministration at the youth church..." my aunt began...I didn't
want her to show me at all. I always felt embarrassed watching myself. So I cut in.
"Oh that? It's all GOD, Glory to HIM!" I replied quickly.
"You would join the Bible College in preparation for your ordination..." my uncle added (Ordination, these people don't know what's up. I'm not heading to Nineveh o.)
Like he read my mind he said: 'GOD doesn't always need you ready or qualified, HE just
wants you available and usable. I need reports on today's finance..."
“Alright dad, I would forward it to your mail..."
My aunt didn't forget to add that I acted more man-ly from the video. I feigned laughter
and she laughed louder.
I had not taken off my clothes when my phone kept vibrating several times indicating
that I had a lot of messages.
I suspected they were testimonies and of a truth they were.
Till I bumped into Xavier's message and it read:
“Good evening pastor. I am really sorry about yesterday. You know emotions stirred up
and what happened, happened. You would not deny that you had feelings for me too. I
noticed your erection when we hugged and kissed. Let's not go over that demonic talk,
right?”
“I see you have a beautiful thing with GOD. I heard you pray all night. Can we talk about
this more at my place tomorrow? Please! Please! Good night dear (pastor)”.
"I would call you tomorrow" I replied.
To be continued...
