Introduction:
Somebody has hurt you - maybe it was just yesterday, or maybe its been years ago. We’ve all been hurt by someone, but sometimes we are bound by an emotional pain that resurfaces again and again.
Thankfully as Christians we have a God who brings such simple truth, commands, and grace. Although simple, the Bible can at times be difficult and overwhelming for us to trust and obey. Thankfully the Holy Spirit, who dwells within us, provides godly guidance, strength, and love to help us overcome our human nature.
Can I shock you a little, I've heard of a Father who slept with his 3 daughters, impregnated them, aborted for them, and he demands forgiveness
What a Sacrilegious act........
How about a friend who went behind her friend to spoil her in front of her mother in law to be; oh she said she would cause his son pains and agony, if she doesn't stop him.... After all she knows her friend's secret...... She too also demands forgiveness, after everything backfired......
The Forgiving God
When we look at forgiveness according to the Bible, we must start with God. God knows all about forgiveness - His acts of grace and mercy toward undeserving people are numerous! Just look at the Israelites in the desert complaining and turning to other idols - how many times did God forgive them when they repented?
And as they were eating, Jesus took bread, and blessed it, and brake it, and gave it to the disciples, and said, Take, eat; this is my body. [27] And he took the cup, and gave thanks, and gave it to them, saying, Drink ye all of it; [28] For this is my blood of the new testament, which is shed for many for the remission l of sins. Matthew 26:26-28 KJV
In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace; Ephesians 1:7 KJV
This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ. And God has given us this task of reconciling people to him. For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people’s sins against them. And he gave us this wonderful message of reconciliation. 2 Corinthians 5:17-19 NLT
Having taken his blood and it runs through our veins, we are now having a sense of feeling that we should take decisions like him, to forgive.
Scripture teaches many things about our role in forgiveness and our relationships here on earth.
With good reason, there are many frequently asked questions on this topic. Based on the Bible and experience, the questions and answers below should help us on our journey.
1. Is forgiveness a conscious choice, or an emotional state?
Responses
_Forgiveness is a choice that we make through 1 free will. We do not have to wait for us to be “ready” or for our feelings to lead us. We must decide to forgive; the emotions will follow in time._
We are to forgive not when we are ready (or when the person has apologized), but rather we are instructed to forgive because God has already freely forgiven us through Jesus Christ.
2. How do we forgive when we don’t feel like it?
_a. We forgive by faith out of an obedience to God’s commands. Since forgiveness goes against our human, self-centered nature, we must forgive out of faith in God. We must trust that God will change our hearts in time, while we forgive in obedience. (See Phil 1:6)_
_b. Time will not heal the wounds; only forgiveness will._
3. Does forgiveness happen over night?
_a. Forgiveness is a process, and there will be multiple layers of healing. The decision to forgive can happen in an instance (because its not dependent on emotion), but you must continue to walk out that forgiveness for a lifetime._
_b. We are called to repeatedly forgive without limits!
Matthew 18:21-22 Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?
Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.
4. How do you know when the process of forgiveness is complete?
When you start enjoying peace, And when your relationship with that person gets better. You don't necessarily have to be as it was but at least small communication.
Forgiveness is an action word.
To the question above, let's look at this
_Forgiveness is about setting someone free, and that person is you! The forgiveness process is complete when you experience the freedom from anger, bitterness, revenge, or hurt._
You are freed from the power of this other person over you!
*5. Is there a time to approach the person who offended me?*
a. Yes, Scripture teaches us that we are to go to those who have sinned against us (see Matt 18:15-20). However we are not to judge one another as if we are sinless, but rather we should go in love (Matt 7:1-5; Gal 6:1-2).
b. We are also instructed to approach someone quickly if we realize we are the offender (see Matt 5:23-24).
c. Healthy communication is good for our relationships. God wants to use us to help one another become more holy and righteous. Many times, we need to help each other realize where we fall short.
“So if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God. Matthew 5:23-24 NLT
6. How do I know when to approach someone, or when to just forgive them?
a. There should be lots of prayer and discernment! This is a gray area, but the Holy Spirit knows your situation and what’s best for you and the other party.
b. The most important guiding factor should be love for the other person (1 Jn 4:19-21).
We love each other because he loved us first. If someone says, “I love God,” but hates a fellow believer, that person is a liar; for if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see? 1 John 4:19-20 NLT
Some people beg for forgiveness some don't. Like forefa!
But the Bible says we should forgive those who hurt us. If the person doesn't ask for forgiveness I forgive and move on. If he does I can now approach you.
When I was a kid I build houses for ants, and when an ant leaves the house, I kill it immediately.... We have diverted from God's face and he still hold us to himself, so we must forgive and move.
You can't forget but the hurt that comes with it one can heal from it. That's why Joyce Meyer can talk about how her father abuse her while preaching and not sulk on the pulpit. She's gotten over that pain. Through the help of the Holy Spirit!
I pray that God should help us conquer the pains that people might have caused us and also help us to forgive freely without holding any grudge against our transgressors!