Hilarious job hunting experience

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My blog today is a scenario of a common happenings in developing countries like my very own country, Nigeria.

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It's a fictional story about a guy that...

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Today is exactly 10years I resigned from my lucrative job that was paying me as much as N200k($400+) monthly as of then and ran to Lagos because of an advert I saw on a popular news paper.

The advert goes like this;

"An international/multinational company in Lagos is looking for suitably qualified science and arts graduates to market its Great brands in Nigeria. Salary is a minimum of N400k($800+) per month and a vehicle will be provided.. bla bla bla"

I applied through their email as provided and before 2 hours I was replied..

"You have qualified for the interview and the final stage and was given one month to resign and come for the final stage of the interview".

I was so surprised how I got the invite in a quick manner, like were they waiting for me? I thought.

That time, I had this lady Boss in my office that never liked me, I came next morning and arrogantly told her, "Folake, I am Done with this your MENIAL job you can now have my position for all I care". You know that feeling of turning to a billionaire in few days!!⛷️⛷️⛷️⛷️

I resigned and Next morning I entered bus to Lagos!

I reached Lagos safely. Next morning I was at the address. A "container" shop with a small room they called a warehouse attached.

At 9:30am one haggard and hungry looking man in a lemon Green unbalanced coat popped out, the idiot said he got A Great news for us. He announced to us that all of us who have managed to come for this interview have automatically qualified. I looked round, Over 2000 people qualified to work where?? In this small container!!

No interview, no write this or that, nothing nothing. The Spirit to cry befell my Heart, May God help me!!😢

The man said we should all clap for ourselves and sit down for lectures and 98% of us actually clapped🤣.

My left mind smiled and sarcastically clapped too for my right mind like, "well done, next Time always look before you leap".

These guys started telling us of how we can get a basket and load it with their range of products. Then a bus will be provided. As in that's the vehicle to be given as stated in the advert😢, a Mega phone attached to the bus to tell the people about the range of products. While we run around and meet prospective customers and any of the product you sold, you get N500($1)!

Image source

The man sounded so happy announcing to us that we are rewarded instantly after the end of the day.

I cried within me, Father Lord, why do bad thing always happen to Good people?

Am I dreaming?? From salary of 200k a month, I am coming to look for N500.. am I dreaming or what??God!!

The man continued as if he was in my mind, "you can sell 400 products a day and that's you making 200k a day, That's 400k in two days so when we said salary of 400k a month.. it's an understatement, you can see that you are worth N5m in 25 working days".

Everyone clapped again and even gave him standing ovation.

Image source

I began to imagine the scenario of the work : God imagine your Child running on foot selling these unknown creams and rubbish and making 200k a day, nobody can make that in this type of work a day unless the person is ready to run mad with the excess running.

In about a minute, I just saw myself sobbing, my heart was just too heavy.. I needed to cry for my Destiny🤣, my nose was running too like a covid patient.

It was then it dawned on me to ask those around me their qualifications.. maybe I am at the wrong place, maybe I read the wrong advert.. this must be for WAEC holders and bandits or miscreants!!!...

I asked the few around me,This one said he has a HND in applied physics, the other OND in something like that. Surprisingly, one said BSc Microbiology and Epilepsy nearly held me, when the one by my side whispered to me that he has MBA marketing and he was listening to the junky man with rapt attention, as in he doesn't wanna loose this job!!

Imagine the kind of graduate jobs in Nigeria, God forbid!

I just knelt down, took my phone and called "Foluke, I am sorry, that my position I said you should have, just keep it for me, I am entering night bus now. If you've replaced me with someone else, I don't mind teaming with the person and at the end we share the salary please"

That's how I was enchanted or rather attracted with a mouth watering offer in an advert I saw online. I never believed myself that I fell for this.

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This is very common in Nigeria, you'll see hear tickling offers in job advert and you'll be tempted to leave your current job for and you'll surely get shocked when you arrive at the interview stage.

For someone like me, I don't see myself falling for this type of advert. Even if the work looks legit, I have my means of searching for reviews on such companies or advert. A common example of a site to search for such reviews for Nigerians is nairaland.com

Thanks for reading

19th June 2022