Trying my best to make you whole again.

that time sabi ko, ayy ako na, time kona kasi matagal na kitang gusto. Niligawan mo ko, naging masaya naman tayo. I always visit your house because I believe you can't do that to me, you're not tough to face my whole family I guess so. I always make an effort to be with you. I know to myself that you're my safe place. We're not the type of couple who's going on a date, sharing our problems, nor what couples do. I guess. I miss your mom, her "Kamusta kana nak" "pupunta kaba dito" "may sakit si ** gagaling yun pag inalagaan mo" "nagluto ako nak, punta ka dito". Do you know the most heartbreaking part? I miss when you called me "by"while hugging. It's been a year since we broke up, and I guess the traumas that you've offered are still in me. Whenever a man tries to persuade me, I'm scared, I'll distance myself and sometimes ghost them. Till the day, you've said that you wanted to come back with your ex. It's always in my dream like it's a nightmare and I don't want to wake up. I give my best to heal your heart because I love you more than myself. But I guess my effort is not enough. You still choose her and the smile, laugh, shining face that you've right now. I never see that when you're with me. I surmise I go through your life to make you whole again and return to the person who leaves you through your haziness life. I wish someday when I woke up I'm totally healed, with no more tears, nightmares, and probably I'm ready to be with someone again. Ang unfair Kasi ikaw ung pumasok sa buhay ko, ikaw ung nanligaw pero sa huli ako ung nasaktan, nasira at higit sa lahat ginive up ang lahat. Huwag ka mag-alala hindi na kita guguluhin papalakihin ko to ng magisa. Maging masaya ka mahal ko.