Dear Sirs and Madams,
I have dramatic news to relay to you. It is with great sadness that I must tell you, the Benevolent is no more. I got these words directly from his successor. We must all prepare for a new regime full of hope but first, let me recount the events leading to this announcement.
As you all know, our Empire has been fighting the DAA plague for many months. In light of new information, the Benevolent graciously pledged to surrender his throne to whoever would find a remedy. The smartest of us, rising from an independent province came to the rescue with the perfect antidote: ASERT. The smartest immediately became the Savior. While the Savior initially planned to bring ASERT to all provinces, he failed to seal the deal with the ABC province. I must say, the ABC province is well-known for its belligerence and our Savior was too busy with correspondences of the utmost importance. However, this failure should not be blamed on our Savior. Indeed, it was reported by our Savior that the ABC province made no effort to cooperate. Scandalmongers would say that the ABC province is only capable of feeding the Empire not healing it, but honest minds know too well that this is not true. Although the ABC province is the most populated of all, it is actually not so special. As such, our Savior felt no obligation to rescue this lost territory. Some whispered that he would rather let it die to better pick up the remains. While some of you may feel a little bit uncomfortable with this decision, we must accept the rise of the Savior to the rank of Dictator. For those of you who find this story unbelievable, I invite you to view the full transcript as proof of my intellectual honesty.
In the coming days, I invite you to present a name for our new Dictator. I have a few suggestions in mind, but I must let the Community come to a consensus on the matter.
Long live the new Bitcoin Cash Dictator!
P.S.: this note is a parody of the segment starting at 1:40:44 and ending at 1:43:51 from the 3rd Bitcoin Cash Difficulty Adjustment Algorithm Development Meeting. The events narrated in this note are pure fiction.
Plebs, embrace pumkinman Faketoshi in your hearts and join BSV.
It is not too late.