"Bullying" is a pathetic and stupid word. RIP Lufuno Mavhunga

I began an article earlier about how "bad management breaks businesses", and whilst doing so I got a notification on Facebook from a friend who tagged me in a post - a video. The friend who tagged me was a victim of school violence and abuse during our primary school years - just like I was.

It is very seldom that people tag me in anything on social media because I'm generally a recluse / workaholic and I don't like social media in general. Therefore when someone does tag me in a post, I pay attention.

The video pops up and starts with a young girl backed into a wall, carrying a black and white speckled juice bottle with a pink lid dangling from her fingers from its rope. In front of her, there's a girl who is larger than she is, but appears of similar age. The fear in the girl's eyes with the pink juice bottle is clear. You can hear shouting but can't make out the words very well. It's a video taken on a cellphone camera. Another girl comes into view of the camera, the attacker picks her hand up and clasps the newly-entered girl's jaw and moves her out of her way. As she does this the camera comes up and focuses on the victim - 15 year old Lufuno Mavhunga. The taller girl strikes her with the back of her hand across her face. Lufuno pulls back, she grabs at her face and tries to defend herself - not with violence, but by blocking any further slaps. It doesn't work because the attacker grabs her arms and eventually manages to stop Lufuno from blocking her face, then takes another swing with a fist. Lufuno still does not retaliate, she is just trying to push the attacker away. More beating, more violence, Lufuno's mask is now hanging by one ear. After more violence some other children enter to "break up" the attack. Lufuno had backed up further into the wall, with her mask laying on the floor after being beaten off her beautiful, young and innocent face.

I was going to post a link, but I decided I won't, if you want to look it up on your own, search for Lufuno Mavhunga on Facebook, you will find it.

I decided today that there is nothing more important that I could possibly write about than this beautiful little girl who was murdered by another learner. Everyone can tell me that I "have it wrong", and that she "committed suicide, she wasn't murdered". Really? You can guarantee me and Lufuno's parents that Lufuno would be alive today if not for a viral video of her being beaten?

This was Lufuno:

Image Source: https://twitter.com/Ando_elena/status/1383316953738059777/photo/1

This is Lufuno today:

Image Source: https://www.sabcnews.com/sabcnews/family-friends-say-final-goodbyes-to-lufuno-mavhunga/

The above photo was Lufuno's funeral (image source from sabcnews.com).

You say "bully" I say MURDERER!

According to definitions from Oxford Languages a bully is:

noun

plural noun: bullies

1. a person who habitually seeks to harm or intimidate those whom they perceive as vulnerable.

Can someone please explain to me how that word can be associated with assaulting someone? Assaulting someone to the point that they go home, take an overdose so that they no longer have to live, because of YOU? That's a "bully"? "Bully" seems to be the term given to those who mentally and physically ABUSE those around them lately. It seems to be normalized more and more - yet we wonder why so many kids are ending their lives.

SOCIETY DISGUSTS ME

I want to throw it out there - if you stand back while someone is being attacked and beaten by these abusers, you are just like them. You are no better.

As a primary school kid, I was kicked, hit, smacked, had my hair pulled, tripped (I ended up with a broken wrist), pushed down stairs, had my clothes, bags and books taken and hidden by learners. NOBODY did anything. The teachers watched it, they didn't give a damn. The other kids WATCHED it. They also couldn't care less - except for those who joined in.

I woke up every single day knowing I was going to be verbally and physically abused by those kids I sat in the same classrooms with. Guess what? Suicide crossed my mind as well. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I wanted to be dead. I hated my life. I wasn't even a teenager and I WANTED to die - because of "bullying".

Everyone is having an outrage now over the loss of life of Lufuno - but what about all the others? Her death is not isolated. I can go back over the last couple of years and give you HUNDREDS of examples of children who have killed themselves because of others.

Where does this start?

I am trying very hard not to swear and type in angry-capitals for this entire post. I am finding it very difficult. It is damn easy to establish where it starts, yet nobody corrects the issue.

I know that the two reasons I was abused and where it started:

• At the home of the "bully" (read ABUSER)

The parents / guardians do nothing to rectify the behaviour. Either because the information doesn't get back to them, or because they just don't care.

• At the school

The teachers do NOTHING. They are useless, they ignore it. The principals are USELESS, they ignore it. Their tea-break is more important than stopping someone from tripping the fat kid and breaking her wrist - yes, I was the fat kid, and that boy broke my wrist. I never told anyone that it was him because the teacher didn't care and he was in the first team for rugby for school - which meant that even if I said something the sports coach (teacher who saw it) would have told everyone I was lying.

Emotional abuse is worse than physical abuse

I have spent my life trying to recover what was done to me as a child - yet, when I look back, it was never the physical violence that these school kids did to me that stuck with me. It's been the words - the taunting. The teasing. The phrases like, "You're just a fatty!" and "I wish you would die!" as others laughed. They laughed at someone saying they wished I would die.

The whole sticks-and-stones analogy is a pile of nonsense when you are the child that is experiencing it. Some people manage to get through it all like myself and my friend did. Her and I have grown up to be what society classes as "normal". We pay our bills, work, have our careers - but that doesn't stop the broken bits which have never healed. It doesn't stop that we don't trust people, that we take a distinct dislike to certain people, and that our friends list is about as short as it gets.

It is time that kids stand up for kids

If you are a kid and are reading this and are subjected to any of this - please, please don't give up on your life because of low-life scum who are trying to break your spirit. You might not think you have any value right now, but you do. You are a diamond and they are nothing.

If you are an adult / teacher / parent - I hope this hits you straight between the eyes and hits you in your heart. I hope that if you have ever been responsible for abuse like this, that you read these words and realise what a despicable human you are - because you DID NOT TAKE ANY ACTION.

This is what you did...

Every day when you wake up knowing you are a "bully", look at this picture...look at the grave stone of a child and remember it was your fault, because even if you didn't kill them, even if they didn't commit suicide - YOU were responsible for the death of part of their innocence. YOU took that from them and they will never be able to get it back.

Image Source Pixabay User: Irishoffspring

Lead Image by Pixabay User: geralt