Being an introvert

Overtime I have come to learn and understand that human behavior is constantly being studied and classified into several categories in order to have a deeper understanding of why people act in a certain way or do certain things. As a child of course you have little idea of these categorical classifications of human behavior, but once a person begins to grow, you learn about these things and they sort of help you place yourself in a category too, as well as place others based on the characteristics they poses. I also realized that some people are not just one thing, they could be a mix of both, maybe tilting more to one side than the other. From personality traits to temperaments and so many others, they contain classification of characteristics that we can relate to as behaviors of our own.

Ever since I heard of and understood the terms introvert and extrovert; I immediately knew what category I would fall into based on my own characteristic behavior. I have also learnt that heredity, environment and level of exposure play roles in determining the characteristics of your behavior as well. All of those factors did play a role in determining the characteristics of my behavior and what category I fall into, i realized based on my behavior and habits, i tilt towards the category of an introvert.

Being majorly introverted, I tend to be sometimes misunderstood as I also believe extroverts may often be misunderstood. Humans in general, we sometimes misunderstand situations, intentions and each other as well. Once proper, transparent and honest communication comes in, those misjudgments and misinterpretations tend to be cleared up and a lot more clarity is achieved. Being introverted is sometimes characterized by a ‘quiet nature’ a phrase that gets misinterpreted a lot.  Yes I do have a quiet nature, which in my own case means I am not the first to speak in a crowd; I enjoy my quiet time in a quiet space, sometimes just listening to my radio or to music without having to make conversations with anyone. It doesn’t mean that I don’t talk or raise my voice, I absolutely do, I am a human with a mouth and a voice, I have emotions which sometimes tend to drive the tone and tempo of my voice.

I don’t hate people or company, I absolutely love being in the company of those people with whom I can be comfortably myself. Loving and enjoying your indoor and quiet time a bit more than the time you spend outdoors doesn’t equate to hatred for the outdoors. Sometimes when I get angry or sometimes raise my voice when fueled by my emotions, I’ll be looked at as if I have committed a crime or gone wild, as if I am not allowed to get annoyed or shout. I’ll begin to hear things like ‘she’s just pretending to be ‘quiet’, ‘she’s a pretender’ and I begin to wander why all these comments simply because I had either gotten irritated and infuriated or because I got into an argument, raised my voice, shouted or broke something out of annoyance, does it all now make me a pretender for expressing my emotions. This is not to say that shouting at people or breaking stuff and getting into arguments are healthy means of expressing annoyance, to me it is not but I’m human and I get caught up in those sometimes destructive expressions before I catch myself, pull back and try to control my emotions.

Sometimes I am able to calm myself before I get to the point of having an outburst and sometimes i am not, It doesn’t mean my personality changes when I don’t. It’s like some people have this expectation of me that just because I am majorly introverted in nature, I am supposed to always be this calm, quiet, non-talking and inexpressive person, which I can’t always be. When you do decide to speak up for something or for yourself, in a local Nigerian expression people would say ‘ehen so you can talk’, of course I can talk.  I do tend to be sometimes hesitant to participate frequently in socializing activities, it doesn’t mean I don’t love to go out or meet new people, I do. It does get annoying when you’re sometimes labelled or looked at as weird and pretentious for expressing yourself and just being you.

Taking out time to understand a person I think does help create a more compassionate, supportive, encouraging, healthy, tolerable and peaceful atmosphere and environment. Yes these behavioral categories are there but it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t give room for us to be human. Accepting that a person falls into a certain category and understanding that they as individuals are more than those behavioral categories helps avoid misjudgments of a person. I am definitely speaking to myself as I write this as I know how annoying it can be when I’m being misjudged or expected to behave in an exact manner and I am also learning to understand people as individuals, not just based on a certain category or classification.

Thank you so much for reading.