I'm an extreme introvert. Meaning when I'm around people, including my own family, my energy levels drop.
I love my friend and am worried about her in her grief. I will continue to be there for her. But I'm plum worn out.
I have been fielding phone calls. I've been talking to people for her when she just can't. I've been making coffee and tea and cold drinks for visitors.
Tomorrow I'll drive her to meet her daughter at the airport. And then drive home. And probably pass out.
I hate that I'm like this. In my brain I'm a very social creature with boundless energy.
In reality I'm a grump.
I prefer silence. I don't like the tv blaring all the time. I really dislike talking on the phone.
I like books. I like to be able to find a corner and just read (and hide).
So, I'm exhausted.
But when I think of my friend and her grief. When I think of how ashamed she is feeling. (She thinks she pushed her companion to shoot himself in the head - she didn't. He was always going to do this.)
When I think of how exhausted she must be feeling.
I just push through. And I feel selfish for even feeling exhausted. . .
I took her for a very short walk yesterday.
Not up to my normal walking levels, but she was feeling weak and tired. So we only went a short way.
We spent a lot of time outside with her ducks. The white one is called Peep. The green headed ones are Hank and George. Those two actually came from my place.
We talked about the baby lambs that were born yesterday. She wanted us to name them after her friend. So we did. These lambs are going to market but I didn't tell her that.
She walked with a cane. It is a cane he made for her. It's made out of something interesting and she was very proud of it. It's made from the male anatomy of a bull.
It's going to be incredibly humid again today. I doubt we will go for a walk. It's really tough, too, because older people will feel cold no matter how hot it is!
To cheer her up a little, I took pictures of the lambs, the baby chickens, and some of our flowers.
She loves having a garden.
I need to finish up and go on over there. Today we are going to go get pedicures. I hope it is relaxing for her.
Until next time!
I hope she's feeling better after your pedicure session. And get some rest, too.