Rewriting fate

I have a girl, she’s kind, awesome, cool and the prettiest. I love her since the day I talk to her but she is currently in love with someone else and in spite of that, I still want to fill the hole inside her. I wanted to fix her and pick up her broken heart from the bastard she adore so much. Is it too much? Nope, it’s not I’m happy of being a help to her. I’m contented like this, she may be in love with someone else but I believe one day she'll fall for me.

I’m currently waiting for her in our usual spot carrying a box of a ring in my pocket. I decided that she may fall in love with me in the process because time will always be the answer in whatever problem we have. I couldn’t help but to smile at the thought of her walking towards me with her eyes shone the brightest while her hair dancing through the sound of the wind. I shook my head as I become a mad man again thinking by the illuminating Ariesa of my life.

I become worried as time passes by because it’s been an hours but she' still not here. I texted her and called her but she never answered, I wanted to leave the spot to search for her but I’m afraid we’ll cross each other. I almost lost my sanity when my phone chimed and saw her name in my screen. I immediately open the message and glad the she is safe.

“Sorry, I’m gonna be late but I’ll meet up with you so wait for me a bit ‘kay? Let’s talk” she said, I texted her back saying to take her time that I’ll always wait for her. I can breathe again at the thought that nothing bad happened to her. Several of hours have passed but even her beautiful shadow didn’t show, she said that I must wait and we would talk so I will. 

It’s cold and I think it will start to rain soon, the clouds piled up making them became dark and dim that will fall anytime, I just hope that she will have an umbrella if she come. I’m thankful that I wore a big jacket that lessen the cold of the night. I arrived at our spot exactly 7 am even though we will meet up at 9, and now that 7 am become 7 pm. But I’m still waiting for her. I couldn’t text her or call her since my phone died a while ago. Hours have passed again and I notice someone approaching me, my heart pound so much, I can’t take my eyes off of her and everything just faded into the background. It’s her, she came. Oh God, I cannot fathom how much I love her.

“Sorry, I was so occupied that I forgot about our meeting today” She said, I wanted to correct her that this is a date but it’s okay whatever word she wants to use it’s fine. I smiled at her saying that I’m okay and that I’m the one who told her to take her time. 

It’s pretty dark but I can see the new mark on her neck, a mark that signifies the property of this girl. I should be the one who put that, but it wasn’t me. Again, she have a mark....again. I wanted to ignore it as I usually do but it’s wrong. I was about to ask her but she suddenly spoke the words I tried so hard to avoid. my heart broke into tiny pieces as I heard her, my eyes became blurry producing water that flows down my face. 

“I’m so sorry but we should not see each other again. I really liked you and I tried to make it deeper but it’s not you I’m searching for. It will always be him.” She elucidated. I saw her turn her back to me and run away from me. And while I remained stunned by her words. My hands inside the pocket of my jacket felt the box of the ring I am supposed to give her. Amidst of this woeful situation I remembered her smile the first day I met her.

“Hi my name is Ariesa, how about you?” I ignored her thinking she’s one of those attention seeker girls. “Snobbier type” she pouted and rolled her eyes. I thought that was the first and last time she would annoy me but it wasn’t. Everyday of my life she asks for my name even though it’s been almost half of the sem. 

“My name is Ariesa, how about you?” I lost. Is what I was thinking that time and stated my name, “Jarred” She was shocked and couldn’t speak for a second. And that was the time I fell in love for you. It’s as if our hearts are connected to each other. “You answered!!” She was so happy that she dances around our classroom ignoring the laugh of our classmates. That’s the time I thought I wanted to make you mine, that I’ll make you mine. But these thought became a crumpled piece of paper when someone walk into the door. He’s the president of our neighbor class. I saw you beamed but this is not your usual beaming, it’s different. I can feel my heart ache a bit so I chose to look outside of the window. The day of our school time was done and it is now time to go home. I searched for you inside of the room but you weren’t there. I was walking outside of our building when I heard a loud noise around the back of the building. Unbothered I still walked away. 

Today I saw you again and this feelings I have became more intense as day goes by. Without a doubt I immediately confess to you but you directly reject me saying you have a boyfriend. I respected that and never bothered you again but I can’t help falling in love with you more day by day. I noticed how you wore jacket and pe uniform even though it’s not our pe day. It’s still cute to you even though it’s out of style. We never talk again and you quickly vanished when it’s time to go home. 

Everyday in my walk to go home, I always heard a loud noise behind of the building and never did once I tried to peek. But this time, it’s louder than usual. My curiosity reached its peak and I quietly sneak to see the happenings behind the building and I gasped when I saw you half naked. Your body is full of bruises, cuts and wounds, some of them are even bleeding. Without a snap I saw myself at the top of your boyfriend breaking every pieces of his face. I heard you shouting my name and the word stop but I didn’t. I only stopped when I felt you hugged me behind.

“Stop now red please” My heart aches as you call me again at the name you made. Why did you choose this bastard when you only suffer? Why are you defending him, why are you smiling at the sight of him, why are you enduring this treatment? I shouted at her but the only answer she gave me were smile and the words...

“Because I love him”

Those three words are enough for me to understand. Because just like her, I am also in love with someone who will never look my way. I was so mad that I screamed and gave her boyfriend one punch again.

“Why can’t it be me? I will love you more than he did, It’s fine if you use me, it’s fine if our feelings are not the same. I’ll work hard for you I promise, You’ll never experience this again” She nodded, 

“I know but it’s not like that,” She smiled hiding her pain from the cuts and bruises her boyfriend gave her. “Every time you walk, even if you heard something again, just walk away okay? Promise me” she asked, I shook my head but she was persistent that I agreed to her condition. Everyday I walk going home I wear my earphone to avoid hearing the noise. It hurts but I swallowed all the anger and pain for you because you chose it that way. 

One day I heard everyone talking about you and your boyfriend breaking up. I was startled so I search for you and found you at the back of the building where you are always abused. I sat beside you without talking just feeling your presence beside me.

“He cheated on me” You said trying so hard to make a cheery voice but you cracked. 

“I let him do everything and understand him even in the most blurry times but he still cheated” I wanted to kill her ex but I respected her wish. 

"Why does he abuse you?" I asked, and again she smiled

"That's what makes him happy and if he's happy, I'll endure anything" beat. Tired of this feeling. I saw her shoulder move up and down and heard her retrained whimper voice.

"But he still cheated on me, I just can't---" I hugged her tight as I caress her back

"It's okay, everything will be okay" I said, we broke our hug and she still continue crying her heart out and all of a sudden my emotion won over me.

“Why don't you try me Ariesa, I don’t care if you use me, I don’t care if you don’t love me or what you do to me. I’ll work hard for your love and will never break you.” I ask of her in my most sincere tone she was hesitant at first but I was shocked when she agreed.

“Is that my face when you finally told me your name?” She laughed, but I still couldn’t process everything. I hugged her tight and kissed her head.

We dated for months and decided to meet up one day, our first date and last. I couldn’t even call this a date. My broken heart breaks more as the rain falls down from the sky.

 You got back together right? how lucky bastard he is.

I was just mad that the precious thing in my life is just a trash to others. I wiped my tears and stared at the rain falling from the sky. I became greedy whenever I think of you, I was never the male lead of your story I was only the second lead who existed to spice up your story. But the thought of you got me carried away and tried to be the male lead. I wanted to rewrite our fate, I wanted to change it my way but I realized that no matter how hard we try if we are against by destiny, we will never win. She is fated to love him and I was fated to love her. It’s like the story of the sun and the moon chasing each other, only collided to be apart again. It is finally clear to me that We were never meant to be.

To my whole universe, Ariesa; I am now letting you go. I love you with all my heart but I forgot that part of loving you, was letting you go. I hope you forgive me as I have forgiven you.

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, events and incidents are either the product of the Author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead is purely coincidental.