My share of "No Label Relationship(s)"...
I’ve recently read a lot of articles and planned to reply but instead, I want to make an article because it will be a very long reply. There are tons of them but right now I’m not busy and while my officemate is still busy doing about her business, yesterday we chatted for hours, so I wasn’t able to finish my article.
This article “Check the Label?” by @Nalyn . I found this interesting because its about “NO Label relationship”.
A boy and a girl, both my batch mates from highschool, spent about 2 decades testing waters? Hmmm… She was his crush from then but married someone else, and she claimed it was a shotgun marriage. He went abroad to work and continued communication with her for the last 2 decades. She was… his confidant. They talked all day and every day for those decades and still maintained “they were just friends”. Hmm… and he sent her gadgets, digi cam those days when it was super pricey and DSLR, same… and every year he comes homes, he is by her doorstep, the whole month until its time for him to go back and work again. His parents were already silently praying for them to be until I tagged along and made it happened. Now, they are together and though processing the annulment, still waiting.
Me… my best buddy in high school, Nino, my seatmate for a year. He was a transferee, a kick-out from a more prestigious school, and decided to seat beside me that year. No one else dared seat by my side until him, though I honestly don’t know why no one dares but I am glad though. It was a roller coaster ride but we became friends, extremely good friends. He opened his closet for me to pry and shared his darkest secrets, including those things he did at his school that got him kicked. Guess my reaction to his stories stunned him or so because I simply laughed it all out. Actually I was amused with what he did. He showed me his darkest side but I simply remained, instead with all the things we talked about he listened to my perspectives and mellowed down. He allowed me to scold him in front of many, close his mouth with my hand when he gets all too stingy and throwing insults to our teacher, -specifically math teacher. On our last year, I got another seatmate, happens to be a boy, and he was just “jealous?”. And targeted to berate the guy all year round because he just happens to seat beside instead of him. Like “its his seat!”, yeah, forgot to mention, nobody sits on his seat and somebody did and he was furious. Then 2011, we met again and that I was already a widow. He flirted with me but he was already engaged and acted like he owns me. I just let him be because I never knew there were hidden feelings in between and since we were best buddies, knowing his schemes and character, its just like him – as long as his not harming, its ok. Fast forward, he revealed his true feelings where I was shocked. I honestly didn’t know I was that to him although I knew of him wanting to go on Euro trip with me or he is looking forward for a trip with me! He blocked me on FB because I trampled with his pride. We didn’t talk every day, just moments by moments. Now, he is back after 3 years because my friend that he wanted to get rid since 2012, died. What’s next? I really don’t know. It was his birthday yesterday though…
He asked for food and coffee and finally had it deliver at his doorstep yesterday. Honestly, I want to end to all this. I wanted him to move on from where he is. He already had several engagements called off. Enough already, he already done a lot of annoying things because his heart is somewhere else. Hurting girls, toying with them. I honestly want to talk to him about it so he can finally rest and settle in. But the last message he gave me when he revealed his secret 3 years ago was that he wants to grow old with me. Naturally my answer was “of course, why not just like old times”… Now? I really don’t know the contents of his heart… but really he has to figure it out what he is missing so he can move forward, not ghosting.
For 2 decades this has been happening. To him and to my batch mates. Its unfair for them to put others on hold just because they have been undecided. Like the boy and the girl batchmate, if they only figured it out then, then they wont have to put up with the annulment battle. I do understand there were different priorities then but really, I think its more of an excuse or so since it had happened. I think its being afraid of the being hurt because they were unsure of their feelings, or just totally failed to be honest with themselves. Like they are so used of denying the trueness and sincerity that they failed to recognize it, too much of a game I guess.
It is natural for us to have feelings and who is not scared of having those, especially the strong ones, when the future is very much uncertain. But we really have to come to a point to make decisions so other people wont expect and/or be dragged along with our issues. Me, personally, I don’t want to drag anyone with me on this road that’s why as uncomfortable as I may be with strong feelings, I make sure to not set it aside but deal with it instantly. True, if I might cry out of it then be it so. But its just a matter of time and it will all be over. Right now, I'm still bracing myself because I am not sure Nino is giving up already or still hanging around. Thank u for your time. God bless.
March 25, 2022