Misconceptions: Marriage, is a bed of roses but don’t forget the thorns on roses!

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2 years ago

Days back I’ve mentioned about “God cementing marriage bonds, lasts for a lifetime.”

Please don’t… don’t misunderstand. Marriage is really hell and God cementing is really something.

Imagine, you’d be spending the whole what, 20-40 years together? Like you are still 25 years old and committed your lifetime ‘til 60 with him? Really think so?

Disney already romanticized marriage, and the happy-ever-after bond, from old times “Cinderella” to “Beauty and the Beast” to “Little Mermaid” to “Snowhite and the Seven Dwarfs”, and so much more stories! All the flowery things and the butterflies but we tend to forget the other side of the coin, the thorns in it.

Like, all the sough-out for “knight and shining armor”, handsome and with all the pre-qualifications a maiden or a lad who have for a wife or a husband. Hmmm… I even see a lot of qualifiers for them to date a guy/lass but… Really? Are you sure, they are not the like who like that “closet king/queen”? Hiding the darkest secret in their closet and letting it all out in the safety net of “Marriage”.

Ok, fine. Let's make it simple. Most of the people I talked about, that marriage is only good for the 1st 7yrs then struggle after that. Of course, they say, honeymoon lasts that long then it all sinks in, the habits, mindset emerges then all of the sudden you feel like the spark is no longer there and the only thing that binds are the children! Think! Why do you think an increasing number of couples separating? Increased number of broken homes and divorces, each year is climbing?

Then live-in concepts came about to try and test the relationship if it worked out or not? Try it out for a few years and let’s cross the bridge together when it's there!

You sure, prayed together that you have to spend a lot for a wedding ceremony? A 1-day event and spends the rest of the years paying out the debts. Oh! Like I hear that wedding dresses in the US are like 13K worth of a dress only to be worn that day! Locally? Oh no! And again, “reason it as a once-in-a-lifetime event”?

Wedding Ceremonies are truly expensive since it has been romanticized and lived like fairy tale stories to be told by many. Professing your love to the one and only but forgetting that marriage has a lot of tomorrows and futures. Well, good if you really can afford but what about those…

Like few months after marriage, it's still ok until you will start paying off the debts and unexpected things happen leading to fluctuating moods and to arguments to fights. And lo! Right now, everything is expensive!

God never wants to see us suffer but because of pride and whatever that is, we show off to everyone that we can afford? And then, we find that befitting and reason it that involves God in it. But in reality, professing your love needs to be just simple. No requisites and qualifications, and God’s idea of cementing it for the couple to pray together and live to have God as the center of their lives. How can He be the center of your lives if most of your lives you are both busy working overtime to cope with the finances to pay off all the incurred expenses? Barely have time to be together as the bills come heavy every month plus, the coming baby?

Funny, our idea of life seems to be different from His views. When He has been encouraging us to be humble in our ways and yet. Although true, in Abraham’s time he was rich as his faith has been blest by God for being faithful that his flocks doubled in time.

True, God provides. But, the way you are expressing how your days, weeks, and months has been, planning for a perfect wedding has given you all the stress and all the more when the bill comes, -all the other incurred expenses. Really? And the relatives demanding over a lot of things, coming from the entourage to the venue to giveaways?

Oh! If you truly believe God wants to give you a grand wedding… Yes, it will happen. However, with the circumstance today, He’d rather give you a frugal wedding but a very memorable one! However? If you prayed enough together, oh! Unbelievable things happen. That everything you need will be all provided and that you won’t need to spend a lot because you’d be surprised that a friend volunteer for a photoshoot and video. A friend will recommend a very nice venue, half the price, and the food is just heavenly. Haven't heard of stories like this one, right? Oh! There are a few untold stories I have witnessed.

Simply because a few stories were shared a lot about the heavy expenses incurred and wedding stress… No, there are several happily-ever-after-stories had happened. That started from their wedding ceremony to wake up daily together until forever, as they all lifted it to God. Have you heard of a husband or wife who died just a few days, weeks, or months after the other half died because of grief? It's simply because life is too lonely without the other! That is how it is cemented, a heart that beats as one!

July 19, 2022
Image: pinterest

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Comments

Oh, after reading this it make me want to share my simple wedding some other time. I also believe that a grand one wont be a guarantee of a lifetime but the commitment of both parties with each other. I guess knowing and respecting the value of the bond of marriage before entering it should be given much importance. Yes nowadays it became an illusion for some on how to celebrate the big day , how grand they want it , how huge importance given from gowns to food, on how lovely should it be presented for people to see but the holyness and sanctity of it ,the main reason why they are doing their vows are somehow forgotten . Making marriage as a full theater play. Like a movie show. Breaking the vows after and expecting people again to give them sympathy.

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2 years ago

Oh! Please do share! I'm interesting with good stories! And that way, people will come to appreciate simplicity and enjoy the genuine life.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

True and if it didn't work out, there are a lot of excuses and reasons, others put the blame on anyone they can think of! Unfortunately.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Marriage is a simple bond, no need to expenses much if one can't afford. The society made this fairy tale marriage concept though. Also, being with a person for too long is not at all boring. Yeah, tough time comes and we question ourselves. But at the end of the day I want to see the same face. I'm married for 8 years and have a family. I would never think about breaking out of it coz I love this. But to each of their own. From what I understand, wedding should be simple, and marriage should be a mutual relationship where trust, love, morals everything plays it's own role.

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2 years ago

It is not a problem of money it is problem of sleeplessness at night. Because children are making noise and you will go to work in the morning.

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2 years ago

To most, its money problem. Because not everyone is rich and that many actually starts with debts and in the long run... It starts from there and the problem compiles and that's it. Children, is not a problem, they can be disciplined and so far, mine were never that.

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2 years ago

Sister exactly Marriage is not a tight bond that shall settle everything. But this bond can be made strong by our thinking and behavior. I agreed to you, you are very right about marriage perception.

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2 years ago