June, love month: weddings and bells ringing?
Love is in the air? The topic is quite nostalgic knowing that I once had!
On this side of the world, June used to be a month when weddings abound. Though ours was in July, it was because it was the only date open and available. So…
Brides and grooms plan ahead of time. Busy themselves with a “to-do list” that everything is properly prepared for the “day”. From their gowns to their entourage to meals and giveaways. Photoshoots, theme songs, the correct drama for the occasion. Really that busy preparing, that some may have anxiety attacks prior to the date. All stressed out because of the incurring cost? Hahaha! And naturally for the events and planning industry is a busy month for them, bookings and schedules abound.
A wedding is a special occasion for the girls that matters much to them. They want to be the most beautiful lady at the event, - me? I shy away from these events. They dream big and fantasize about everything from their gown down to the accessories, shoes, and most importantly the –groom. Is the prince charming from their dreams or nightmares? Don’t really know much about him but most, from the dreamland of course!
I really wonder how they’d pull up the resources to finance the cost, I cannot imagine and I don’t want to afford the costs. Oh! The life’s savings? Oh my! Honestly, I barely saved a penny coming out from financing my sibling's education so, buying a dress is out of the budget! Anyway, that’s the dream wedding, let me not spoil it with all the anxieties it's going to in the process! Or later?
Well, it's a once-in-a-lifetime event, we might as well show off? and pay the bills later? Whatever! ok! It's bonded on the agreement of course! But, it can be a source of disagreement.
I’d say, I’d prepare more for marriage than for weddings. Set aside the costs, because it really costs a lot with all the expenses from gowns, entourage to the venue? Though it’s deemed to be once in a lifetime but separation, divorce, and annulments are very rampant these days, unfortunately.
Marriage goes beyond weddings and their preparation. It’s a retrospective because to be a once-in-a-lifetime event, you have to dream of spending a lifetime with the person. Sleeping beside him, accepting his faults and all the excuses your partner has as an individual. Like he drools so much when he sleeps or has a very weird way of eating or biting his nails when he's nervous or some OC behavior that can be very enduring at most. Some of these you have to live through your lifetime.
Change? Dreaming of changing a person is like dreaming to change a habit! It’s more like reality vs expectations, though it can be possible. A far-fetched reality that only profound willingness to change would move to change but… about 70% doesn’t.
In the years of courtship, one should have but… There are surprises at every turn. Discoveries that one can either get the thrill of knowing or dread the horrible truth. Which is which, is something to be discovered. Especially when your partner is really good at hiding a lot of things in his closet, unfortunately.
I have to admit, I’m hooked up with my disappointments still from my ex. especially when I never learned about this sickness.
A kind of reflection of my parents, my mom had to endure depression all those years and suffer a lot of blows since my father is uncaring. Perhaps caring to be fair but unable to express his concerns or… who would really know his reasons but himself. My father as he was, was never a good provider in everything. And his insecurities had grown over the years and had relied on my mom to provide for everything. And that was a stunning reality that I have to live by all these years. Aside of course his philandering ways, which tormented my mom, he also had other vices.
I returned mama to his care and my other siblings but the more mama was dissatisfied because she never really felt the care she ever longed for. Perhaps that is the very trauma left on me or passed on me that I am very skeptical to start anew!
Marriage is a whole new thing and must be dealt with thorough carefulness because it can either be a life or death for you. Mine? Though he was unable to support me financially, he was caring enough to help me grow into the mom that I am now. I can now admit that was my source of resentment and dissatisfaction in our relationship for him to decide on his own and left me to fend for everything. Me proud? I’d say yes… It’s a hard earn reward to keep my boys to this point.
People get into marriage to embrace the concept of “happiness” but with the growing complications these days, totally ends up “bitter”, many actually have some horrific ending like “battery to death” but there are also successful marriages too! Marriage is an intertwined union of two lives who should be willing to work out their differences. Either by compromise or adjusting themselves to be in-tuned with their partner’s need/want and have to jointly agree to it. It’s actually a choice to either enjoy or endure as no relationship lasts a lifetime if no one holds on tight.
"Being in love is easy, staying in love is a decision".
Thank you for the read and God bless!
June 08, 2022