Faith comes with a price

I get invited to read.cash by a colleague at work and tried it. And I’m loving it. Originally, I think of writing a lot of my personal experiences which I did from my 1st month and still writing. While earning, really make me think hard because I thought it will be a lot of hardwork. It’s like this, I saw someone wrote an article and had to flaunt it on noise.cash, so I thought “wow, the effort of earning is a lot and just to be recognize and people to like your article!” So I dropped the earning part as I’m too lazy for the effort of posting it all over noise.cash which I only visited 2-3 times a day. And little did I learn about attracting “Rusty’s attention” and I’m glad it has and grateful for his visit on my articles.

A decade has past

I was a widow on an early age. I was torn apart of living my parents, actually my mom since I didn’t have good relationship with my father, for all the many reasons in the world. One good thing though, my mom was already in the hospital and in a coma, so she can no longer stop me from living. I never really totally moved out since I was still living within the vicinity. Unfortunate things happened at home where our youngest sibling run away and that actually did have me thinking, if they were to leave me alone, why just not really move out? Yeah finally, yey! we had and survive 8 months on our own! Wasn’t it great? Yes, it was great. I didn’t expect it like this.

Our place is upsy-turvy but we are truly adjusting. Knowingly this is expected as we still don’t have furniture of our own and a lot of things, still trying to figure it out. Already laid my plans for the rest of the year, personal debt pay-out. And its less than 8 weeks for 2022. Me ready? Oh no! Im not but im getting there! How can I be? When I hardly have a penny on me, just got my pay check and here I am going to work penniless, -already broke after receiving my salary. Shh, only you guys know this. Its really embarrassing to be around people and you have nothing in your pocket to spend on. And you may be wandering how I do this? Really literally, I only have some penny with me worth enough for a fare home. Going to office is free because our shuttle picks me up. Going home is a bit off and tricky because the shuttle was assigned to new location and I cannot wait for the other shuttle because I’m sleepy as hell after shift. So, I really just have worth of fare going home on my pocket. Lunch? Oh, packed lunch? Double my effort in preparing, lolz but it does the trick.

Worries and fears

Being alone in the world, implies worries and fears. Why? Of course! Definitely, especially when you have kids and no savings and money to mention. Who do turn to ask for help? No one gives money without due interest. Like, right now? Where will you get help? Everybody needs one. I am just really lucky for all the years I had lived with my parents I have developed prayer that invokes “protection and provision for widows and fatherless”. Which is why getting into a relationship troubles me because I could no longer invoke such prayer when I do so! And relationships has so much implications especially when the person you will be with is a half-baked Christian, and you will never know until it manifests too late. And frankly, in relationship abstinence/chastity is almost absent? And this has been my life for all these years? Both willing to wait until? Really? Hmmm… makes me wonder if it was even possible. My dying friend commented “you are definitely looking for a saint!”. Oh, well.

You’re probably asking, what’s the connection? Well, it’s like this. Our body is a temple of Holy Spirit, cleansing it takes years. Worst if you really backslide you know. So you can actually ask/demand help from God when you’re all too lusty?! Especially when the need is now? eiyt!? I’m not rich and I’m just earning barely enough to enough, so… I’m grateful despite because even if I don’t have the richness, I really am not experiencing a lot of troubles because trouble just really fixes itself. So, this is actually what I’m enjoying right now. And I’m not really willing to give it up.

The price of Faith? Exquisite if you learn to wait and see, and its not “all you’d expected it”, milk and honey, nope. But I get to see instant results on my prayers. And oh! I’ve read in one article that “demons flee when you know Jesus”. True but, there is a catch. True you can cast them away but they come back, unfortunately, stronger than he was before and now taking with him a few more demons, -its found in the gospel, be warned!

Thanks u for taking this journey with me, God bless!

Nov. 18, 2021
Image from Unsplash