Everything I own.

Now I am writing… hearing the music “Everything I own” by Bread, “I would give everything I own, just to have you, back again”. “is there someone you know, you’re loving them so but taken it all for granted. You may lose them one day, someone takes them away and don’t hear the words you long to say.”

A general concept of life, short and nothing is predictable. I was once young and clueless of what the world was about. Living through idealism and by chance guarded the principles I grew up with, together with morals and manners. Lolz. Uncompromisingly straightforward and the rest is history…

One thing I don’t and will never regret is how I spent my years growing old with my mom but I prefer to cut the years short so I will have the time to explore the world on my own. I have more experience navigating through the intricate folds of what they called this “world”.

For those who choose to live a life of solitude is easy while for those who choose to have a family is not as easy as it sounds. Like the same old adage, “it takes two to tango”. A relationship, no matter how many years you’ve been together, it still undergoes the same old cycle, - the usual roller coaster ride. And it’s not easy to hold each other’s hand all the time.

To whichever path anyone choses, there are consequences or risks to take. Sample. A woman will choose, career over marriage/wife. Thus, having children or marriage is not a priority. Same goes to men, they may choose to marry at the later stage in life. Both has consequence or risk to bear and with the same results. Birth risks is on the play, failing health too is another thing to look into.

We all get to go, the after-life! It’s really just a matter of when.  How our life is shaped, is dependent on our priorities in life. The ones we hold dear or “GOAL”. Often times the goal is:  “career path”, “vocation”, “fun/adventures”, “treasures”, et al.

But really? At the end of the road, what will be the ultimate goal? Because, as mentioned, we all get to go! On our last sleep, last breath… the last minutes of our life is what? Get to be measured on what? How rich we became? How famous we were? How many houses we have? The bylines we submitted? We all get to leave everything behind, even memories fades in time unless immortalized. Not even the clothes we wear, gets old, dreary, left somewhere to be feasted by microbes…

Hahaha! I am really getting older as I am writing these tones. But really… I want to get to my last sleep with a smile on my face. Getting ready for my last breath in the arms of my children. The small hands that I used to hold while they are growing. Wrapped in their arms as I am making my passage. Possible? Oh! I can only say, it’s a lot of hard work and sacrifices. Truthfully, we don’t get everything we want or need. We only get to prioritize it and cherish it as it lasts.

To me, my children are the treasures in my life. Hard work and sacrifices, I have to work to provide for them and at the same time serve them at home, cooking meals and other chores for them. Have to play and teach them how to read, make follow-ups on it on their progress. Make sure everything is well and running. So much to do? Hahaha! But I get to sacrifice the climb to success as I can no longer afford to be “on-call” for meetings and others in the middle of the night because I am teaching them to read. I don’t want to leave the house because all the reasons in the world including, laziness. I just want to stay late in bed and cuddling the little ones. Friends at bay, waiting for a get-together, if possible. Patience? Oh! They eat your patience whole and alive, like nothing more is left but burnt out.

We all get the chance to have that one thing we desired the most, lucky to have two or more... And mind you, you will never know until its all done with, then realized that you have actually let go of that most important desire. Many tend to "take them for granted" like as a the song stated. Why? Because we think they will stay for a lifetime. Yes, like what mama did, she stayed but still in the end she went away, in the arms that truly made her happy! Back to the one who LOVES without condition, our Creator. And to this, I gave everything I owned, staying. Being beside her, was not the greatest pleasure but the greatest honor. No regrets but next time, given the chance, I will have it shortened - to give space for growth on both sides.

We do get our chance for something, grab it while its there! Nothing in the world is more pleasurable than to MEAN WHAT YOU SAY. Like when you say I LOVE YOU, don't take the words for granted. It's a clear declaration, if you can't stand up to it then don't say it because it will only be a disappointment. Many are afraid to give the best and the truest, because they are afraid of being hurt. But, all of us get to be hurt, who isn't? Even God is hurt the second man disobeyed his commandment. Remember, we only get to live and witness this life. Yes, it's our choice still. We get to choose if we live inside a mirror full of facade and empty inside. Or get real, fall, get hurt, wounded and stumble... For life is short and it's definitely a roller coaster ride! Thank u for the read. God bless.

November 17, 2022
Image: our own