A Secret I Keep... shhh!

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2 years ago

About a decade ago... I got an invitation to attend a friend's birthday salo-salo, his girlfriend invited me. I refused because I just gave birth and I had no nanny for the boys so I could come and go! Then, she begged... not knowing why she had to and that I had to bring my baby and my boy for that occasion. arg!

Then, I saw him again. It had been so long, high school days? And we saw each other at a common friend's birthday. At the van that took us to our friend's place, there we met. He said "Hi Jen" and I said "Hello", while I was carrying my baby and holding my other son. Seeing him again, at the back of my mind I asked myself "what happened to him?". He seemed to be in a real bad condition since he looked very thin, even asked myself if he could still stand? While we were waiting for others to arrive, then begun their conversation about a batchmate from high school who was suffering from a dreaded illness and died. There I go, started to forget his name. Made a role call of all the boys at boy's camp, but of no use, I couldn't remember his name. Even asked the girlfriend of our friend celebrating, but before I could end saying the name, I immediately forgot. sigh!

Ok! It took me a while to learn not to forget his name and while I was at it, I had avoided talking to him for years for fear of being discovered that I don't know his name. lolz.

So the little secret is actually I have grown fond of him, his presence in the group. He is not nuisance but he has captured my attention for a while now and I can't stop but like him over the period of time. oh! I honestly still don't know him and for over the years its a coincidence that we are both single. Him a certified bachelor while I lost my husband to liver cirrhosis, 10 years ago. I'd like to know him more but for years he has avoided me too, as to why? I never really get to ask him that, not that I cared.

I'd like to dream but I can't help it but reality bites, I truly want to keep my hopes real. I have children to feed and dreaming big is like falling from the sky with no parachutes. So, I focused on my family, decided not to entertain the thought.

Last March, I noticed someone familiar but I cannot totally say it was him. He wasn't wearing a mask, waiting on the parking lot. I could only think of the familiarity since there was a lot of changes on him. He used to have long hair and now, it was neatly cut. I didn't know what to make out of it. Then April came. I now noticed someone following me, riding his bike as he passed by while I was walking down the road to high way where I waited for our shuttle to pick us up for work.

One night while I was walking, a van made some turns made me stop on the road. And I didn't notice he was coming. While I was waiting, he passed by me. So close that I could almost touch him or push him. But no, I just stood there and watched him pass by me. And it continued the next nights and even asked myself how'd he know I was down the road walking when no one else's know when I go.

Chance truly had its way of making known of the unknown. It showed me the answer to my question, how'd he know? It was because he was camped out there in the hills across our store, waiting for me to go, then he follows? That night, I was lucky to find out because somehow the place was lighted up and he became visible. Now I wandered how long had he been watching me there?

Someone is stalking me. And he happen to be the guy I liked. So, what's next? I reckon. But to think of it, how do I know he was following me? Or it's merely just a delusion, a make believe that it was following me. Well, call it delusion or whatever you like, argue all you like but I've been walking the road for 6 months and nothing like that showed up before. And just please explain the guy lurking in the hills, dark and stealthy across our store, and was just gone after being discovered he was watching? hahaha! Bemusing! Well, we have a lifetime to discover so, bring it on.

Oh! Thank u and have fun. Have you had a chapter in your life that's this bemusing? Well, mine just opened a chapter, worst, I'm at the prime of my life! Hope this end, if not, well another article to write then. See you around, God bless.

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